weekend update, with Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

...well, not really. but if they google their names, at least they'll come up to my site.

thursday ended with me not remembering what i did. but i do remember a few pieces, mainly making fun of J.Lo as she developed her ideas for her new fashion line, fragrance, and music for the runway show. all she did was look at pictures of sketches and clothing that other people had made, and go, "joo kno~ i don' even like dis. i just wanna somethin that looks good, joo know? i wanna something like smells good-- sounds good. none of dis is doin dat for me, papi." its so revolutionary of her...you know...to want clothes that look good and music that sounds good and fragrances that smell good.

on friday, i ended up skipping classes (i suck at life) and to make up for my laziness, i got started on my diff eq homework. i ended up finishing two week's worth of it, too!! haha. so skipping class really got me ahead~ which is a lot better than going down on a professor.

that evening was pretty chill. i went out to $'s Aids fundraiser businazzz. i'm still wondering why yale has an "Aids Watch" program...instead of like "Aids Awareness." last i checked, the noun "watch" was used for such topics as: "yale bird watch" association, etc. etc. we don't have "yale cancer watches" or "yale gonorrhea watches"-- though i could probably use one of those, and a new Prada watch.

after the fundraiser, which, i believe, ended up raising around 750 dollars (that's going straight into my bank account after i rob those suckers), i went over to Xtos room where we chilled with his roomies, downloaded "1 Night in Chyna", looked at his new winter/spring wardrobe of Hermes and Hugo Boss, smoked hookah, killed small animals, and watched "The Office."

i left a bit early since i was feeling a bit nauseaus, and came back only to see that one of the roomies had left some exquisite left overs from his dinner, including lobster, crab, mashed potatoes, steak, and potato fries. needless to say, the you know what was hit and i finished all dat shit, only to find myself particularly nauseaus, once more, and not even able to concentrate on the third airing of "project runway: the finale." i stumble in bed, find myself feeling better, jump out of bed, immediately feel sick again, laid back in bed, and then starting thinking of ways i could die and what i was unhappy about in my life -- not good at all.

the next morning, on saturday, i woke up around 9 to get ready to go to NYC with meimei, $ and froggy. we got on the train, made out tons, and ate at some hole in the wall of a restaurant serving cajun style food'ums. too bad i had to pay some 20 bucks just for my meal!! fuck new york.

after that, we went to the Barney's Warehouse sale which was absolutely heinous. 1) too many hispanics 2) all the clothes were in bins and were being manhandled 3) the clothes were still ridiculously expensive. i was about to get a pair of Sevens but one of the belt loops had already busted on it-- so i decided it wasn't worth it. highlight: meimei getting busted by a BG guard for changing clothes in the children's department. tehehe. (another funny joke: meimei's new fashion line will be called, and i quote, Mary by Mei.)

we made our way to The Gates at central park.

i guess they were cool.

BUT OMG!! my life had finally completed its worth when we ran into fucking Nora Calguri from Project Runway (i hope that she, too, googles her name and finds my site). she was so cute and just the little Nora-mon i pictured her on camera. "Nora-mon! I choose you! *gotta catch them all: POKEMON!* needless to say, i was ecstatic...though i wish i could've taken a picture with her but i didn't have the balls to ask. in fact, i don't have any balls, period.

on the train ride back home to New Haven, i ran into to Livi from Yale, and we sat together in front of this amazing lesbian couple, who proceeded to grill us with non politcally correct questions and make us laugh at their lesbianism. my favorite line: "how's the lesbian scene at Yale?" i replied, "all on the rugby team!"

got back to yale, made my way to josie's graduate thesis show for sculpture, which was totally amaze! and came back to the room...went over to krap's to have some mojitos, hung out with meimei and ate rice...came back to the room to watch "Gastineau Girls" with froggy and p wizzle...and all was well in the land of nod.

today i woke up at 1:30, went to brunch, turned a couplatricks, and now, i'm back in the room avoiding work. i've got to finish an application for research in NYC, finish my physics and read some macro! go me.

"free at last...free at last...thank god ALMIGHTY i'm free at last." --Char Jackson--

finally. i'm fucking done with ALL MY MIDTERMS! the outcome has yet to be fully realized, as i do not know the grades for all of my exams yes. i do, however feel really good about 3 of the 4 that i took. the exam for macro was kind of shitty for me, since i made a lot of stupid errors (excuses, i know).

anywhore, today is a BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY as i have gotten out nearly 30 minutes early from my microecon exam. it was from 1:15-2:30...i got out at around 1:45 because i am that smart. well, actually, i'm not that smart. i'm just smarter than the other people in that classroom...and sexier if i don't say so myself.

congratulations to Jay McCarroll for takin' it home as he won Heidi Klum's Project Runway. to jay: i used to think you were scary, but then, i realized, you were just like me. how do i get Jay McCarroll original wig?

hrm...i wish i could say more...

o wait! i can.

so plans for the rest of the day: finish up an application for some research g opportunity at Columbia U...um...monkeying around...eating dinner...getting FUCKED up...

or that's the tentative plan at least.

i'm kind of depressed as i haven't been running for the past 2 weeks due to my foot injury :( i'm trying to let it fully heal before fucking with it at all, because i know what it's like to catch gonorhhea right after getting rid of it.

on that note, i'm out like trout, bitches.

the birth of an addict...

o. this is just a funny memory of mine.

it was on the 8th grade band trip in middle school. i was but a young 13 year old chap, who had not experienced the lecherous delights of drugs, sex, and alcohol.

the next best thing for kids of my kind: caffeine.

so, one night, in order to show how "cool" i was, i chugged and entire pot of coffee that was steeped with tea bags.

ew. i know.

anyway, i kind of went nuts for about 30 minutes, before running to the bathroom and puking.

*and scene*

the lesson i learned: don't chug coffee and tea to be cool, because real cool people chug beer.

on that note, i'd like to mention that i finished my macro reading (200 some odd pages), made a delicious tea drink (jasmine tea + mint tea + hot water + cooch + passion fruit syrup + peach syrup = heaven = natalie portman's vagina in Closer.), and am departing the comforts of my porn-ridden computer for staceramma's, to watch EXTREME HOME MAKEOVERS!!!

ugh...

i got some of the worst sleep of my entire life last night, despite the fact that i had bacardi with cola and five ambien.

i kept on waking up, intermittently, and had the most FUCKED up dream that i got in a fight with my dental hygenist. it was really weird. he wasn't operating or something, and i got really mad at him for wasting my time, and banded with other people in the waiting room to start a walk out. and he bitched at me and i remember shouting, "yea- yale, class of 07, bitch!"

i really don't get it either.

had a loverly brunch this morning with an english crew, including keifus, bonkster, stef, OCD, meena, etc. some topics of conversation included: death stares and why you get them when you wear t-shirts that say: "B is for Bitch"; what are kurds and am i allowed to respect them; how much is that doggy in the window; driving nice cars on automatic (you know who you are...); and finally receiving cunnilingus from a pregnant sea monkey. the get together put me very far behind in regards to studying for my macro midterm on monday...

...woooeeee is meeeee....

goddamn fucking midterms. what happened to the days of highschool, where all i had to do was turn my cheek and look at the person's test next to me? (ha. who am i kidding? i would've done better guessing than cheating off of someone in highschool~ pah!)

i'm really smart.

in addition...

so. let me elaborate on tonights craziness.

i read a 100 some odd pages in my macro book for my midterm on monday.

then i went to staceramma's to eat pizza. afterwards, i started taking shots, mixing pills with alcohol, and before i knew it, i was laying in my bed and had actually fallen asleep for an hour and a half without knowing it.

*weird*

i went back to the partayy that had actually gotten pretty crazy. some highlights of the night included: running into lots of my favorite people (l.koewhore, lizzy g, sarah, laura, suchi, etc. etc.) and making out with a tree. other, more personal events, include dramatically emotional episodes that ended with lots of puking, chivalrous boyfriends beating up overly verbose drunkards, talking about hongkong with jaebae and her friend from home (shout out to the xiang gang!), taking hot teacher pics of l.koewhore, sharing my teriyaki bowl with bonks and her friend brian, listening to letters of disdain from another one of bonkie's friends, sdool, and running in to x-tos with his gf on the way back from ivy.

does anyone know where i can get some coke?

i really want to start reading gossip girls. please get the first novel and return it to lizzy g so i may read it.

on a brighter note, the sea monkeys i gave to staceramma are copulating like mad. the male has already knocked up two of the females, who are now suing for child support. o the memories of childhood...

shout out to lil' e in chi-town: happy belated ricky keen day. i can't believe i forgot. "making love with your friends, baby sitters club"-- god, i love ya so much!

can you people please tag my boards or leave comments...PLEASE?

shout out to two special sarahs (you know who you are)

i like it when you tell me that you read my blog.

it makes my life feel worthwhile.

is that sad?

love, joe

NO SOUP FOR YOU!!

yay blog! i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.

so this past week was pretty hectic for me. let's begin with sunday. so on sunday, i went running for half an hour, as i have been accustomed to do, and came back to the room. i noticed that my foot had a strange tingle in it, as if it needed to be popped, so i began to twist it a lot, hoping that i'd be able to pop whatever was bothering it. needless to say, i ended up really fucking up my foot.

come monday morning (my most busy day ever), the arch of my foot was inflamed such that it touched the bottom of my shoe, and was pulsating as i walked on it--in addition to the fact that the pressure made a pain analagous to a knife shooting up your leg while having your lower intenstine is eaten by an Ewok. after going to macro at 9, diff eq at 10:30, physics at 11:30, grabbing lunch, going to lab at 1:30 and walking down science fucking hill in the rain to meet up with the girls for v-day dinner at rainbow cafe in the rain...MY FOOT WAS ABOUT TO FALL OFF.

the next day, i went to work and was bitched off by my boss, particularly because i was 30 minutes late...i didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but as she began to rail on me (notice how i said "rail on" me, not "in me" as on most occasions), i pulled up the pity card and explained my foot problem. as with all middle aged women of this sort, she immediately self diagnosed my injury and told me to do this that and this and that she has the same problem and some days, she can't even walk...blah blah blah. i just listened and nodded, because, last i checked, you probably shouldn't take medical advice from a head master's assistant because A) she's a head master's assistant and B) she's a head master's assistant.

the next day, my foot still hurt, and when i went to work, she insisted that i take motrin. i explained that i had already taken advil and tylenol and she said, "no. you need to take an anti-inflammatory like motrin. motrin is an anti-inflammatory, and your foot is inflamed." two comments i would have liked to have made 1) um...advil and tylenol are also anti-inflammatories 2) YOU MUST THINK I'M REALLY EFFING STUPID NOT TO KNOW WHAT INFLAMMATION IS. in the words of N. Dynamnite, "GOD~ my lips hurt real BAD!" anyway, after putting up with her rambling, i made my way to DUH (department of undergraduate health) around 3 pm. a fat woman working at the desk says, "you can have an appt at 5:45", to which i replied "hells no, biyatch! i ain't gonna wait herr for 2 hours. i had got to go back to work and feed my babies! besides, its my foot dats hurt. i cannot be walking up and down this muthafuckin hiill unless you got me some wheelchair suh-vice." so we rescheduled for friday (which, might i add, i cancelled because i knew that, come thursday night, i'd be too damn lazy fo' dat shiet!). later that night, i went over to carlitas to watch Project Runday with x-ian. a few words on project runway: FUCK YOU WENDY PEPPER!

thursday, i had my differential equation midterm. all that needs to be said is that there were 5 bonus questions:
1) what sport do you use a niblecks, mashie and spoon?
2) what size and brand battery did morpheus hold up to neo when explaning the matrix?
3) name one tribe from SG-1.
4) what event did not happen on this day.
5) one last question that i cannot remember because my short term memory has been destroyed by...um...learning too much.

i think i did really well on the exam (go me!).

friday...well, on friday i skipped all my classes. loafed around, had some tea with Ahaves, got my hair cut at RIMAGE (pronounced "Rim-ahj" not "rim-age" as in rhyming with "image" as in having your anal orifice stimulated by a tongue), and went to stef's fucked up play (fucked up as in, the final scene included him stabbing the lead girl multiple times and him leaving with her uterus wrapped in newspaper. GOD! how disgusting is that ?? he PUTS THE UTERUS in the newspaper OR HE GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!?!?! hasn't anyone heard of saran wrap?) afterwards, i went to keith's b-day bash (ya know- to go hang out with "jhead, jasper, xander and jamie, etc.") where i met two more pieces of bonkie's hidden, troubled path.

o bianca. how things seem more clear after understanding the people and places from whence you have come!

o yea- about my haircut. i went to this chi chi salon and spa estate, after being referred by Ahaves. i had initially sworn off all haircutting places in New Haven, ever since dat bitch "Rose" (who was a fat ass white chick who wore red weave that was braided in corn rows) gave me a fucking pixie cut ala Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell. when i mentioned the likeness, she replied "well, thats what you asked for."

this new place was very nice. my hair-doer is named alicia, and she liked to say things like: "that's not cool" whenever i said something i didn't like. for example:
Me: i need to get rid of this mullet!
Her: yea- mullets are not cool.
Me: i want to avoid looking like a mushroom head.
Her: yea- mushroom heads are not cool.
Me: i don't like it when i have to plug X instead of just taking it straight.
Her: yea- plugging X is not cool.
thanks alicia for all the cool advice: you can go shave your back now.

in defense of alicia, she gave me a rocking haircut that made me want to do the whole anna-nicole trimspa commercial: "wanna hot body...? wanna look like me...? wanna win a ferrari, WANT SOME MONEY!!!" my haircut brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours. damn right! hrm. one special note at rimage included seeing 2 scary gay men who have not aged naturally, due to their vanity, and insist on looking like orange leather.

in other news, the agenda for tonight's craziness includes, A) studying for macro, because i have an exam on monday B) partying since its bonky, staceramma, and co.'s birthday bash in SY K33! everyone's invited!

hrm. on that not, i'd like to give a big ol' eff you to people who don't return phone calls and don't reply to texts (you know who you are. hehe.).

peace out, bitches.

o wait- funny line: i got d-bass some cookies, and on her card, i wrote: "dearest diana, you might be a whore, but... - <3 joe -" i thought that was funny.

oo yay! upcoming events...

Thursday, January 17th: Differential Equations Midterm
Monday, January 21st: Intermediate Macroeconomics Midterm
Thursday, January 24th: Introductory Microeconomics Midterm
Friday, January 28th: Middle of my Third Trimester

Sounds like fun, huh? Well, in other news, i have re-affirmed my atheltic abilities through the fact that i, for lack of being modest, am really fucking good at skiing. it was nice to do some northeast skiing and tear up the black diamonds like it was nobody's business. the black diamonds should have been called BLACK SQUARES! MWAHAHAH-- *cue: dah-duh-duh...*--

i know...that really wasn't funny at all, but i tried, right? i spent most of my time with a frosh who's been skiing/snowballing all over europe it seems. i asked her multiple times how this skiing was comparable to european skiing...and i asked her multiple times to tell me i was a good skiier...and that i was the coolest ever...and that i was the best. i also had to pay her 100 dollars in American for all of these services, but, nevertheless, she helped me resolve the decision that i am, in fact, a good skiier. i just need to try out some european slopes before heading out for the big guns in colorado and canada.

aside from the psychological confidence gained through the ski trip, i did realize that i was only one of two sophomores on this trip in branford. that means of all the hundreds of kids in my class who could've gone skiing, i and another girl were the only two who went. i felt sad...especially as i sad alone in the bus, realizing that i really am a lone ranger, not just because i have a cowboy stripper outfit hidden in the back right hand corner of my dresser, but also because when it comes to doing what i want-- i usually have to do things by myself. the fact that a couple, most likely filming the vh1 sequel to "strange love", was canoodling right in front of me didn't help my case. if only i had a lighter and a little bit of lighter fluid. i would've turned those fuckers into some old flames...

this is a tribute to the fact that money can, indeed, buy love-- but it can't buy friendship.

while that quote has no relation to me whatsoever in actuality, i thought it sounded profound. so, in the words of Lindsay Lohan, "Take it for just what it is." --Rumors, from Lindsay's debut album, Speak.

so i had a really good time last nite-- i spent most of it chilling with bookie cookie. this was suprise for me because, even though she is one of my fave peeps, she very seldomly hangs out with me one on one...because she's usually fooing some foreigner or boofooing a republican (...tehehe). we went to ivy noodle, took some pictures in the nude, watched tv, talked about the effects of social security on the overall economic welfare of individuals ranging in age from 18-35 and the impacts of reform on future socioeconomic stablities, um...i think that was about it. it was all very good fun, as i seldomly have friends to hang out with. yay for bonkie-- you might be a whore for non-profit, but you are my hero/heroine.

excuse me, now, while i go purge. i ran 2.5 miles on 8.0 speed level...so i deserve a good puke! yay for control issues! but, let's be real-- at least i'm not cutting myself- pah!

guess what?

i raped my physics midterm up the A with no mercy...than again, it was kind of a "slut of an exam" if you will, being that it was extremely easy to do.

this is usually how the prof like to make his exams. we have midterms and a final, and usually the first midterm is really easy, and the second is ungodly hard. i will, however, say that this was the first time i didn't have to cram for an exam. yes, i did study...but i actually understood what the fuck was going on. go me!

i also ran 3.7 miles.

i wonder what tonight has in store for me...let me go check. o yea! nothing! just like every other fucking weekend: i have NOTHING in store for myself. o, what happened to the days of being social?? how i miss them so.

i've tried to think of some funny stories that happened today, but really, to be honest, i just woke up, went to class, ate lunch...and went to the gym. on a good note, KRAP said that she'd provide me with lessons in squash as soon as season ends...so i can get up and at 'em! you see, what i lack in strength, i make up for in finesse-- or that's my argument at least. and what i lack in heighth, i make up for in oral pleasures.

hrm....god. my life has become really really really dry.

o ya! i'm going skiing tomorrow, which is always super duper fun, mainly because i am really really good at skiing. believe it or not, i will out ski any one of you fools any time of the day, any where~ i might only be 5'6" tall...and i might have a lazy eye and an extra testicle...but dammit- i can ski "good" as they would say in the south.

started reading memoirs of a geisha last night. am i stupid if i didn't know that the woman was real? i was reading thinking, "wow. these are very well translated memoirs" until i flipped to the back. THANK GOD i realized she wasn't real. i can see myself making some obnoxious lie about meeting her children while making cocktail hour conversation. phew!

on that note, i'm off to dinner. i don't know what's on the menu, but i can only hope its a brother, sister or cousin of my favorite dish, chana masala (ew).

a few good things

on a different note than usual, i've decided to talk about a few good things in my life. granted, in the grand scheme of things/in the eyes of normal people, none of these good things are actually that great, but in my simple life...i have a few things to appreciate.

1) i found my Ipod in Motion speakers. i was about to buy another set, because i thought i had lost them/left them in someone...but luckily, it was just chillin like a villain in my back pack. the speakers come in a really sleek black case that, when i placed it in my backpack, wedged its way into the deepest crevices of the bottomless pit of my backpack...and decided not to show up until today! grateful because: i didn't buy another set and end up with two sets of speakers. now i have an extra hundred dollars to buy me a quarter of a shoe!

2) ricki lake wants to be my friend on thefacebook. grateful because: ricki lake is fat.

3) um...i think i was a little too optimistic. i only really have 2 things to be grateful for.

on that note...a few other ramblings of the day...class started early today at 9...and i have two sections today that meet 5-6 and then 8-9...so i'm glad i got out early from my second section; that's like a 1/2 grateful thing?

4) o yea! I FORGOT. project runway comes on tonite. granted i won't be able to enjoy it in all its glory because of a physics midterm (yes...the midterms have begun)...i will enjoy the later airings. i will not, however, enjoy the later airings as much as i enjoyed "1 night in China" starring Chyna...the wrestler...who has a clitoris the size of my nose. grateful because: project runway is comparable to america's next top model.

i'm on a quest to get myself to a Victoria's Secret run way show...if any one has any leads, please let me know. i have decided that giselle is the most attractive human being on the entire earth. can you imagine what it must be like to have gotten EVERY FUCKING GENETIC COMBINATION perfect? i mean, genetics could have made her a deaf quadrapalegic, but instead, they decided to make her into a perfect specimen. can i come back in my second life as her? while i am not the biggest leo fan, i would enjoy m-bating in front of the mirror a lot more...the implicit information in this previous sentence was purely for show.

i think that's my cue to go mirror-it-up. funny french line for the day: la police, ne t'a pas encore trouvé?

whistle while you twerk

yes, blog, indeed. is has been that long since i've blogged...i have a new job. well, its hardly new, but as far as you are concerned, daddy doesn't have to work nights on high and elm anymore.

i'm a master's aide...which is a job position that could, potentially, be kinky in the right mix. being a master's aide includes proficient fluency in fellatio and cunnilingus, the ability to wash dishes and "serve" guests...in addition to a little bit of desk work and a lotta bit of under the desk work.

what have i become?

i had a meeting with the undergraduate career services lady who gave me some idea searches for jobs. if anyone has any legal job opportunities in the states (or illegal job opportunities abroad), please let me know. i can whip up a resume quicker than a catholic priest can _____. (i really don't know what to put in the blank, but i'm sure someone with a dirty mind'll get the idea).

just got out of intro microeconomics, which is actually fun-- yes. i said it, fun. i enjoy the class particularly because learning about economics is a macrocosmic reflection of the existential being that is living...right ~~

what else is in store for me this evening? well, i have work for an hour...then immagonna go running (as, last night, i jacked up the running speed to 8.5! go me!!) and grab some dinner. i have a review sesh for physics and a lot of physics HW to do...in addition to some micro. needless to say, as usual, i've got more on my plate than a half of an M&M. arfn...au revoir for now!

world peace, anyone?

world peace, anyone? yes.

world peace.

i think i have a plan.

while this is an issue that hits me quite close to home, it deals with a topic that many of us face: homeless people. you know, the ones who ask: "can you spare some change? please, sir/ma'am? i have no money left, and i need to buy some baby formula for my baby and feed my dog...and i need a warm place to sleep and some food to eat and BLAH FUCKING BLAH BLAH!"

i am curious. how much does a little change go these days? last i checked, it won't 1) FEED YOUR BABY 2) FEED YOUR PET 3) FEED YOU 4) FIND YOU A WARM PLACE TO STAY

what will it do? you might get a cheap dime bag of weed...or, if you are lucky, some home-made crack cocaine.

what brings me to this topic of conversation? well, while walking, i was passed by a lady asking for change (o new haven night life!). anyway, she proceeded to ask me mutliple times, despite the fact that i was blatantly ignoring her, "excuse me...excuse me sir. excuse me. open your heart, sir. open your heart. YOU THINK ITS OKAY TO WALK PASS BY ME?! YOU JUST GO ON YOUR FUCKING MERRY WAY. BITCH." is it wrong if i laughed...like a little?

well, i did.

how do we cure this epidemic known as homelessness? GIVE THE GODDAMN HOMELESS PEOPLE HOMES IN WARM PLACES. more specifically, send the bitches to falluja or something. thats my idea. send all the homeless people (who have been homeless for more than, say, a year) to the draft...i believe this will solve many problems. for one, they'll get a place to eat, sleep, and be merry-- and us non-homeless folk will be happier for it! hell-- BETTER HIM/HER than ME. that's all i gotta say. better the flower lady than me. better the poetry lady than me. better cowboy ray than me.

hrm...enough on the homeless. howabout the fact that the easiest fucking physics lab of the entire semester ended up taking 4 hours, because the professor spent 2 hours explaining what the mean, median and mode were. i was sitting there like, "um...i got this far...i think i'm fine regarding those topics." that's yale for you-- they care too much about the shit you know, and too little about the shit you don't.

on that note, i'm going to run. peace out, bitches.

hah

thanks v-dub-pee for the shout out. when are we gonna do another gordon grand 2 gether?

anywhore, substances bring me to my lovely computer...so. a few sad confessions for the day?

1) i always wanted an EZ bake oven/creepy crawlers kit. like anything where i could make something and eat it after words-- i wanted. the creepy crawler kits got really cool when they made them edible...like gummy bears! speaking of which, i could really go for some gummy pears....OR GUMMY BEAR PORN!

2) next hot hit: "Speak" by Lindsay Lohan. sooo good- like really really good. i thought, at first, it was about a girl talking to another girl bff about an eating disorder. then, i realized that it wasn't. "Don't want guess, not a test, tell me what you're thinking; keep it real, no big deal, tell me what your dreaming...speak, let it out. breathe." isn't that really profound? keep it real, no big deal. wise wise words from Lindsay Lohan.

3) i always like to feel clean sometimes.

4) watched "vidas privadas" or whatever-- translated from Mexican, it means "Private Lives." and, yes, Gael Garcia Lopez Sanchez was in it. you know-- from Y Tu Mama Tambien. once again, this was a really vulgar kinky movie-- but a really big blue ball at the same time. some of the topics discussed/exposed: blind people, a woman masturbating over dress, voices, and mom/son aXXXtion. ew. i know, right? movies with hot hot sexual tensions and hot hot sex: Quills and Y tu Mama Tambien. if anyone knows any others, just leave me a suggestion in a box.

in other news, paris hilton was on snl. i was suprised to see that the bitch could act...too bad they gave her all the same roles. if i could be best friends with three women in NYC, it would be: tina fey, amy poehler, and rachel dratch. i heart rachel.

hrm...so i went back to the gym to run around 2 miles because i didn't feel like i had gotten a good enough work out before. i had a stitch when i first ran (according to $, is where there's like an air pocket in your stomach and it makes it hurt when you run) so i coudln't run very fast so i stopped. in total, i ran around 3 miles. i was so proud of myself!

keane was on, too...they're alright. and they are VERY cold play. in fact, i thought all their songs were cold play before i heard them play it live.

i also missed v-week's vagina soap and chocolate workshop. v-week is under the guise of being "valentine's week" but its really for "vagina week." ew. i know right? anyway, $ was curious to know whether the workshop was to make soap and chocolate vaginas or to make soap and chocolate FOR your vagina. both are very valid. speaking of which, when i metioned this funny story, bookie cookie said, and i quote: "i guess you could put it in there and have someone eat it."

the room was quiet as "un ange pass" (sp) and i bursted out laughing.

o yea: don't see wicker park. want to know how bad it was? well, bad enough for us to choose watching a "Care Bear" video over it. i got bookie cookie a "care bear cousin" for x-mas that she likes to m-bate with...and it came with a free, hot, video. i got her "proud heart cat" because she likes pussies. the stuffed animal is blue, but the character in the cartoon is orange. bizaar huh? PROUD HEART PULLED A MICHAEL JACKSON!

yay! i finished my macro homework. now all i have is differential equations...physics...microeconomics. i also applied to a bunch of summer work yesterday.

i need more coke. bye.

OMG!! UPDATE!!

haha. i don't know what has possessed me. perhaps the "updating my blog" in 05 is the new "not updating my blog" of 04.

needless to say, not much has happened. sophomore year is just so anti-climactic...i mean, not to the point of a blue balls, but somewhere in the middle. the hum drum of everyday lulls...i find myself enjoying certain classes like "differential equations" and "physics" and spend weekends snorting random substances and chasing dragons.

i went to go see "the marriage of figaro" yesterday at the Met. as yale has given me many firsts, i had the chance to experience my first opera. i will say, it wasn't as good as my first hit of ecstasy or my first hit of a jewish child's blood, but it was, nonetheless, entertaining. i'm suprised that 300 years ago, people were like hella stoked about going to the opera...in the way that i'm hella stoked to get blasted/blazed/destroyed by controlled substances.

haha. i really sound like an addict, huh? in the words of some girl on the street, "you don't know me! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!"

hrm. what are the good things i have done for myself? well, i started doing the squash thing again. and by "doing", i mean playing like once a month (so i think i've played...um...once this year...?). i can't find people to play with because either A) they aren't any fun to play with B) they are better than me or C) they don't take credit cards.

maybe i should put out an add in the newspaper? perhaps: "S.A.M. Looking for A.H.B. to go to P.W.G. and P.S." or "Single Asian Male looking for Another Human Being to go to Payne Whitney Gym and Play Squash." or does it mean "Single Asian Male looking for Any Hot Bitch to go to Play With Gypsies and Punch Samurais." Is that too much to ask? woe-

so, in lieu of squash playing, i have found a new projection of my frustrations. i used to deal with my problems. then i started drowning them in subtances. now, i drown them in exercise.

yes. you heard it correctly. exercise. i, joe, am exercising. i decided that it was probably unhealthy that whenever i played squash, i ended up extremely sweaty with my heart beating in my head...after 10 minutes of game play. HAHAHA.

so in the last week, i've brought up my running mileage from around 1.5 to 2.5. yay for me!! i'm hoping to get up to a good, consistence 4 miles at the end of the month. this way, when i have the chance to play squash, i'll at least be able to play my little heart out!

in other news, i am lame.

there's your update, bitches.