tokin and mokin

the weekend, to say the least, was uneventful, as far as my sex life goes. still-- i ponder, day in and day out, as chaste as the first day god let me out into this beautiful world...

*snicker*

a few highlights: chillin with some M.I.A., new order, color changing candles, and google montage with my main man--JB (you know who you are)--, feeling ill after smoking a cigarette, psi up's first mixer of the year, my first mixer in my pants, and, of course, my wife's a capella concert.

can i just take a moment to say that I HATE A CAPELLA. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW MANY FENDI PURSES YOU OWN-- A CAPELLA SUCKS. and i don't say this out of spite (because, as you all know, i have quite a beautiful singing voice and quite the perfect perfect pitch...and it is but my modesty that keeps me from attaining the fame that truly belongs to me). while i spent (read: wasted) hours of my life, not only at the annual "jams", but the annual "fresmen recruitment shows" aka "singing desserts" and "parents' weekend concerts". lordy lordy! only god knows what i could've done with all the time i ended up spending on a capella concerts...hrm...i could've finished up some homework...or adopted a child from "feed the children" or at least watched "a night in paris" starring Paris Hilton for the 31st time...hell- i might have even saved 15% or less on car insurance! jesus! where are my priorities?

in other news, i can't help but complain that the hits to my blog are slowly slowly disappearing...as i realize that people have lost interest in my life with the same amount of direct correlation as i have lost interest in my own life. damn you sophomore year! i had thought you up to be so much more than you ever were. my life this weekend has resorted to eating exorbitant amounts of food, including 4 packs of easy mac, 2 bags of Combos (cheese filled), butter-lovers popcorn...um...the rest of the list is currently residing on my thighs, as i have gained...well...NOTHING from all that food eating (kudos to my members of the "Metabolizers"...where ever you are...). fuck all of you people who have underactive metabolisms and get fat whenever you eat the things i eat. i laugh at you with a hint of pity.

and finally, to the loverly commentator who left the quote:
Performance Fleece: when i google 'old navy' this site keeps on coming up...what is going on?!?!?
i have one thing to say to you: just because you don't have enough of an eye to dress in colors other than black...and just because you buy expensive clothes (that end up looking cheap when you wear them)...and just because you grew up on Long Island, but we all know you were really born in a trailer in jersey...and just because your last name is actually Hernandez...and just because you talking about purging as if you are even attempting to battle your obvious obesity issues...DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN FREELY INSULT MY BLOG HOWEVER YOU LIKE. call it trashy-- or call it "jersey-esque"-- but don't ever call reference it to performance fleece...or old navy for that matter. next time you want to deal with issues regarding the multiple XXXL performance fleeces you receive every chanukkah from your family and extended family, call a therapist.

on that note, who's up for some gossip? can you figure these out:
*disclaimer. i actually wrote down a bunch of gossip, but realized i could get in a lot of trouble for it. e-mail me if you want the "page six" version of my blog*

so...um...well, we can play the game where i will have four sentences...only one of the sentences is true. which one is it? you'll have to be the judge.

This weekend, i was paid $5 to lick someone's nipple.
This weekend, i tripped while walking to the lunch table with my tray.
This weekend, i destroyed someone's self esteem.
This weekend, i finished all of my homework.