de ce plang chitarele?
Alo! Salut, blog! Sunt eu, uh haiduc.
so i'm home in cashville (flew in yesterday at noon)-- just got back from turning a couple tricks on 5th and 2nd, so i could get some cash to go to wal-mart. i decided to treat myself to some cinnamon toothpaste, berry-flavored floss (since flossing, for me, is the new not-flossing), vanilla mint toothpaste, vagisil, minty eye drops, itrip, and contact lens solution.
random non-sequitur numero uno: in reference to the minty eye drops (eye drops that have a little bit of menthol so when you use them, your eyes feel fresh), i approached stef on the subject of menthol cigarettes. a few days ago, i was discussing the matter with KRAP, who advised me that menthol was "like glass in your lungs." when i rementioned this statement to a connoiseur of the cigarette, stef, he agreed, elaborating that at the molecular level, menthol is really jagged and the reason that it makes things feel cool (such as when you put it on your nipples) is because the menthol is actually making tiny little cuts all over the surface. fact or fiction?
random non-sequitur numero quatorze (...hehe, get it?): anyone notice that fiddy cent's newest single, "candy shop", is just the first 6 notes of "magic stick"? was this intentional, or is he just redundant?...or black?
anyway, i'm sitting in front of the computer...and ordered the new live-in, bernita, to make me a banana/strawberry smoothie, which i am drinking right now. i was extremely delighted to come home, as my father stocked the fridge with all my fave fruits:
1) avacados (yes, it's a fruit, you plebians): i like to eat avacados with soy sauce, or with salt, pepper and parmesan cheese; i eat them like "waoh" ("woah" as in "vagina").
2) strawberries: classic fruit that i like to eat with condensed milk; sometimes, I steep them in balsamic vinegar for an evening, and then put the marinated strawberry pieces on some haagendas vanillla ice cream.
3) bananas: i only eat them when they're slightly green...i don't like them too sweet or bruised. not only are they good to eat, they are also extremely phallic, and anything that reminds me of sex makes me happy...in a special way.
4) blood oranges: because of this fruit, froggy dubbed me as "prurient joe" (if you don't know what that word means, look it up!)...i eat blood oranges like they are full of god's sweet sweet nectar...after peeling, i partition the pieces removing as much rind as i can...then i slowly nibble on each piece, sometimes breaking them in half just so that i can watch the deep, red juices trickle down my hands, before placing the entire section in my mouth and chewing it like it's the last thing i'll ever eat...(did that get you off?)
another random non sequitur: remember, the polite/classier word for describing a woman who is somewhat larger than usual (what us black folk would call "thick"...or us white folk would call "pleasantly plump" or what i would call "more cushion for the pushin") is "Rubeneque." i promise this word will come up at some point in your life...and it might even get you laid. while i cannot quite explain the context in which i thought of this word, it did occur while having a loverly dinner with xtos and stefas (the code name stefas should not be mistaken for stef_. i had dinner with the two on friday evening in regards to me joining Psi Upsilon.
*double take and read that line again*
yes. psi upsilon. in a matter of weeks, i may, indeed, belong to a frat. and by frat, i do not mean group orgy (the main difference being that you don't have to pay membership fees for group orgies). we'll see, of course, how things turn out. i'm really want to join for the themed parties, group mixers, and ookie cookie nights (you know me!).
this most recent thursday night was extremely fun: i saw lots of peeps (shout out to all my lovers!). friday, of course, was even more, low key, fun. after having dinner with xtos and stefas, i went back to the room to console my wife, bookie cookie, who brought graham with her (graham is actually girl in new blue with her...i just can't think of a better code name). anyway, we all chilled, and by chilled, i mean i smoked by myself and cried in the corner. later on, british mina and stef came over...we can a grand ol' bruhaha that included some stoner "family guy" amongst other things.
one of those "other things" happens to be a witty discourse that occured between stef and me.
Me: what does platitude mean?
Stef: i think it means something like "happy".
Me: o.
Stef: thats where they get the word "platitudinarium"...you know...the "happy house"
Me: o! i didn't even know they called it the platitudinarium.
Stef: haha~ did you also know that gullible is spelled with three L's?
Me: *laughing* good one. you might have fooled me the first time with platitudinarium, but...
Stef: no. gullible really has three L's.
*pause*
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
it's quite brilliant really. though i might have been under the influence and that joke might not have worked with someone who was mentally sharp and/or not an idiot, but i hope that, one day, i will be able to spread the legacy of this double entendre (...i don't know if it can really be considered a double entendre, but writing french words makes me feel smart) to the rest of the world!
...latest obsession: Dragostea Din Tei! i know, i know. it's sooo old for all the Euros...and even old for most americans...but i ended up downloading the O-zone track and rocking out with my cock out to De Ce Plang Chitarele (translation: why do guitars cry?) and Fiesta de la Noche (translation: cunt tastes like fish). romanian euro trash music is the new britney...or for me, at least, it is.
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
o O-zone...your music couldn't make me any happier...nor could that fat kid who lip syncs to this shit online. speaking of which, i bought myself an itrip...and i showed my mom how it works on her stereo. i played dragostea on my ipod to demonstrate its purpose (it works by sending the ipod music over a frequency that you can tune your radio to so that you can hear your music on the radio speakers in your car...confession: i actually bought the Belkin TuneCast, but itrip is easier to type and is much classier). as soon as the music started, she began to laugh. my mother, a woman of 58, new dragostea din tei...she heard about it on the news when the kid came out with the online video. *so weird* apparently, my mom is hipper than i am. as a tribute to my unhipness: dragostea is my newest cell phone ring. go me!
*i still can't believe i saw Nora Caliguri in NYC. i taped the final ep of Project Runway, just so that i could listen to Kara Saun's awesomely sick runway music...*
Real World: Philly's playing on the TV. did i ever mention that Sarah, Landon, and the other blonde kid with curly hair from Nashville were at SAE late night? i missed that shit because i was too busy being stoned and eating tons of food...but, alas!, many of my peers were blessed with the opportunity to see such revolutionaries in person.
anyway, i've rambled way too much. i'm going to go shoot something in my left arm. ciao!
so i'm home in cashville (flew in yesterday at noon)-- just got back from turning a couple tricks on 5th and 2nd, so i could get some cash to go to wal-mart. i decided to treat myself to some cinnamon toothpaste, berry-flavored floss (since flossing, for me, is the new not-flossing), vanilla mint toothpaste, vagisil, minty eye drops, itrip, and contact lens solution.
random non-sequitur numero uno: in reference to the minty eye drops (eye drops that have a little bit of menthol so when you use them, your eyes feel fresh), i approached stef on the subject of menthol cigarettes. a few days ago, i was discussing the matter with KRAP, who advised me that menthol was "like glass in your lungs." when i rementioned this statement to a connoiseur of the cigarette, stef, he agreed, elaborating that at the molecular level, menthol is really jagged and the reason that it makes things feel cool (such as when you put it on your nipples) is because the menthol is actually making tiny little cuts all over the surface. fact or fiction?
random non-sequitur numero quatorze (...hehe, get it?): anyone notice that fiddy cent's newest single, "candy shop", is just the first 6 notes of "magic stick"? was this intentional, or is he just redundant?...or black?
anyway, i'm sitting in front of the computer...and ordered the new live-in, bernita, to make me a banana/strawberry smoothie, which i am drinking right now. i was extremely delighted to come home, as my father stocked the fridge with all my fave fruits:
1) avacados (yes, it's a fruit, you plebians): i like to eat avacados with soy sauce, or with salt, pepper and parmesan cheese; i eat them like "waoh" ("woah" as in "vagina").
2) strawberries: classic fruit that i like to eat with condensed milk; sometimes, I steep them in balsamic vinegar for an evening, and then put the marinated strawberry pieces on some haagendas vanillla ice cream.
3) bananas: i only eat them when they're slightly green...i don't like them too sweet or bruised. not only are they good to eat, they are also extremely phallic, and anything that reminds me of sex makes me happy...in a special way.
4) blood oranges: because of this fruit, froggy dubbed me as "prurient joe" (if you don't know what that word means, look it up!)...i eat blood oranges like they are full of god's sweet sweet nectar...after peeling, i partition the pieces removing as much rind as i can...then i slowly nibble on each piece, sometimes breaking them in half just so that i can watch the deep, red juices trickle down my hands, before placing the entire section in my mouth and chewing it like it's the last thing i'll ever eat...(did that get you off?)
another random non sequitur: remember, the polite/classier word for describing a woman who is somewhat larger than usual (what us black folk would call "thick"...or us white folk would call "pleasantly plump" or what i would call "more cushion for the pushin") is "Rubeneque." i promise this word will come up at some point in your life...and it might even get you laid. while i cannot quite explain the context in which i thought of this word, it did occur while having a loverly dinner with xtos and stefas (the code name stefas should not be mistaken for stef_. i had dinner with the two on friday evening in regards to me joining Psi Upsilon.
*double take and read that line again*
yes. psi upsilon. in a matter of weeks, i may, indeed, belong to a frat. and by frat, i do not mean group orgy (the main difference being that you don't have to pay membership fees for group orgies). we'll see, of course, how things turn out. i'm really want to join for the themed parties, group mixers, and ookie cookie nights (you know me!).
this most recent thursday night was extremely fun: i saw lots of peeps (shout out to all my lovers!). friday, of course, was even more, low key, fun. after having dinner with xtos and stefas, i went back to the room to console my wife, bookie cookie, who brought graham with her (graham is actually girl in new blue with her...i just can't think of a better code name). anyway, we all chilled, and by chilled, i mean i smoked by myself and cried in the corner. later on, british mina and stef came over...we can a grand ol' bruhaha that included some stoner "family guy" amongst other things.
one of those "other things" happens to be a witty discourse that occured between stef and me.
Me: what does platitude mean?
Stef: i think it means something like "happy".
Me: o.
Stef: thats where they get the word "platitudinarium"...you know...the "happy house"
Me: o! i didn't even know they called it the platitudinarium.
Stef: haha~ did you also know that gullible is spelled with three L's?
Me: *laughing* good one. you might have fooled me the first time with platitudinarium, but...
Stef: no. gullible really has three L's.
*pause*
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
it's quite brilliant really. though i might have been under the influence and that joke might not have worked with someone who was mentally sharp and/or not an idiot, but i hope that, one day, i will be able to spread the legacy of this double entendre (...i don't know if it can really be considered a double entendre, but writing french words makes me feel smart) to the rest of the world!
...latest obsession: Dragostea Din Tei! i know, i know. it's sooo old for all the Euros...and even old for most americans...but i ended up downloading the O-zone track and rocking out with my cock out to De Ce Plang Chitarele (translation: why do guitars cry?) and Fiesta de la Noche (translation: cunt tastes like fish). romanian euro trash music is the new britney...or for me, at least, it is.
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
o O-zone...your music couldn't make me any happier...nor could that fat kid who lip syncs to this shit online. speaking of which, i bought myself an itrip...and i showed my mom how it works on her stereo. i played dragostea on my ipod to demonstrate its purpose (it works by sending the ipod music over a frequency that you can tune your radio to so that you can hear your music on the radio speakers in your car...confession: i actually bought the Belkin TuneCast, but itrip is easier to type and is much classier). as soon as the music started, she began to laugh. my mother, a woman of 58, new dragostea din tei...she heard about it on the news when the kid came out with the online video. *so weird* apparently, my mom is hipper than i am. as a tribute to my unhipness: dragostea is my newest cell phone ring. go me!
*i still can't believe i saw Nora Caliguri in NYC. i taped the final ep of Project Runway, just so that i could listen to Kara Saun's awesomely sick runway music...*
Real World: Philly's playing on the TV. did i ever mention that Sarah, Landon, and the other blonde kid with curly hair from Nashville were at SAE late night? i missed that shit because i was too busy being stoned and eating tons of food...but, alas!, many of my peers were blessed with the opportunity to see such revolutionaries in person.
anyway, i've rambled way too much. i'm going to go shoot something in my left arm. ciao!
posted by Joe @ 10:15 PM
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