when i grow up...
often times as a child, one of the most frequently asked questions a young person encounters is: "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
i have heard some great responses in my life time, seeing as that i am a pedophile who pays little children with jolly ranchers to come talk to me in my big white van while i video tape them eating the succulent pieces of tart candy and answer the sick sick questions i have, like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and "who's your mommy?" and shit like that...you know...all the normal stuff that teenagers do.
one answer, however, will stick with me for the rest of my life.
some of you may know bapple, otherwise known as the Ben "Always Intellectual Sometimes" Apple...or you might recognize him as Ben "The Happy Trail" Apple or Benny "The Jet" Apple...others of you don't know him at all, and let me tell you, it's probably a good thing.
anyway, while touring his lovely abode in the Brentwood district of Nashville, i couldn't help but notice a plaque hanging on the wall. framed and proudly placed on the stairwell wall was one of those sheets of paper, mildly discolored due to time, with the blue and red lines that you help you learn to write...the kind of paper you use in first grade to help train your handwriting...anyway, he had a piece titled:
"When I grow Up" (mind you this is written in retarded kid/bapple handwriting)...and it went a little something like this:
"When I grow up, i want to president, and let all the black kids go to school."
**applause applause**...WAIT A SECOND...
yes, my friends, bapple, born in 1983 and not 1920, did in fact attempt to integrate the school system, a quite ambitious endeavor indeed, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT SCHOOLS HAD ALREADY BEEN INTEGRATED FOR DECADES. apparantly, bapple didn't learn who/what/where black people were until he was about 13.
please direct all complaints and donations (just in case you would like to provide bapple with a more well-rounded education) to bapple999@hotmail.com.
you're support would be greatly appreciated.
i have heard some great responses in my life time, seeing as that i am a pedophile who pays little children with jolly ranchers to come talk to me in my big white van while i video tape them eating the succulent pieces of tart candy and answer the sick sick questions i have, like "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and "who's your mommy?" and shit like that...you know...all the normal stuff that teenagers do.
one answer, however, will stick with me for the rest of my life.
some of you may know bapple, otherwise known as the Ben "Always Intellectual Sometimes" Apple...or you might recognize him as Ben "The Happy Trail" Apple or Benny "The Jet" Apple...others of you don't know him at all, and let me tell you, it's probably a good thing.
anyway, while touring his lovely abode in the Brentwood district of Nashville, i couldn't help but notice a plaque hanging on the wall. framed and proudly placed on the stairwell wall was one of those sheets of paper, mildly discolored due to time, with the blue and red lines that you help you learn to write...the kind of paper you use in first grade to help train your handwriting...anyway, he had a piece titled:
"When I grow Up" (mind you this is written in retarded kid/bapple handwriting)...and it went a little something like this:
"When I grow up, i want to president, and let all the black kids go to school."
**applause applause**...WAIT A SECOND...
yes, my friends, bapple, born in 1983 and not 1920, did in fact attempt to integrate the school system, a quite ambitious endeavor indeed, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT SCHOOLS HAD ALREADY BEEN INTEGRATED FOR DECADES. apparantly, bapple didn't learn who/what/where black people were until he was about 13.
please direct all complaints and donations (just in case you would like to provide bapple with a more well-rounded education) to bapple999@hotmail.com.
you're support would be greatly appreciated.
posted by Joe @ 9:08 AM
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