there are gonna be some happy guys (and lesbians) in the crowd tonight

Yup. that's her, looking at YOU like you could be the one for her...can't you see it in her eyes? she's saying, "hey! whats up? wanna go grab a cup of coffee, or talk about the French Revolution? OMG! you like my shirt? i really like your shirt, too! actually, FUCK the french revolution!! let's talk about something kinky...like DECONSTRUCTIONIST POETRY!!! *swoon*"

...but alas...things could never be, for she is the "girl with a heart of stone"; "monogamy," she says, "is not her friend."

monogamy, Mina, is nobody's friend...