howdy, chaps!
just got back home from:
A) getting a MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella shot)
B) hanging out with Nelly
hmm...well, the doctor's office, as usual, was gross, and i was glad to get in and out of there~ (the same feeling after you purchase a hotel and a cheap whore; you want her one moment, and in a minute, you just want her gone). i am not really scared of shots, but i realized the prick doesn't hurt nearly as much as the sting of fluids going in to your HOT BOD. i was hoping the nurse would inject it in the side of my fat A, but (woe!) she shot me in the arm...
afterwards, i met up with Nelly, and we went to WalMart where i bought TONS of shit...like lube, nonoxyl-9, propecia, allegra, prozac, aderol, diflucan, celebrex (yeah~ *sing it with me*: celebrex, celebrex, come on celebrex!)... think that was about it...all the "dorm room essentials".
i swear the diflucan isn't for me. seriously. its not mine. i bought it for...umm...a friend. you know. its not mine. don't think its mine, because its not because i bought it for someone else. okay? QUIT ACCUSING ME OF OWNING IT! I TOLD YOU LIKE TEN FUCKING TIMES THAT IT ISN'T MINE! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!??? THIS ISN'T A JOKE....*eyes water*...its not mine. stop making fun of me for owning it...since its not mine.
last night was fun. i hung out with neenee, lunchbox and punkin (as you can tell from the previous post). lunchbox and punkin live in the same residential college at NU, and so they were receiving mass "freshmen personals" from the new res. college freshmen. they were all on a giant "list serv", so that all the kids in the same res. college could get a hold of each other. punkin and lunchbox thought the entire system was a joke, because shitfaces and idiots were writing personal-ads like "my turns ons are...my turn offs are"...so, as a mockery of this type of behavoir. i wrote fake personals for them and their friends...these fake personals were mass-sent out to all the new NU kiddies!! i have included them here:
EMAIL NUMBER 1:
Title: *glitters with excitement*
Hey you all. I think you should be REALLY excited and proud of yourselves! You're in NU (pats self on back, and metaphorically pats all you readers' backs, too)--tehehe!
My name is Lindsey (but you can call me Linderooney for short)...I am a sophomore in SESP, which makes a REALLY silly sound if you sound it out!
Well, just to give you guys a run down of what I'm in to...There are 3 important things in my life: 1) Animals 2) Books 3) God
*First off, I LOOVE animals. I came from a really small town, so I used to bury the dead animals I could find in my back yard, and make little "tombstones" out of left over pieces of burlap and dead animal hide! They were SO adorable. I have pictures if you want to see them. Yeah- so by the time I was 13, I got into animal husbandry. My father was a minister and my mother was a pro golfer (yeah- you might have heard of her if you were a real big golf fan in the 80s). My dad's father's mother was a champion animal breeder--my parents think I got the genes from her. I said I live on a farm...so I have 3 cats, 11 sheep, 6 tortoises, 12 guinea hens and 5 dogs (whose names are Catarac, Lampshade, Jubilee, Howder and Gerund, respectively that is). Since we don't have many vet offices around here, I started mating animals as soon as I got Catarac and Lampshade. From then- I've been an animal husbandry-pro. I am hoping to join the Pro Federation League (crosses fingers)
*Second of all, I LOOOVE to read. "Choose Your Own Adventures" is my total fave genre...I've seriously read all of them at least 30 times. I know this sounds dorky, but sometimes, I choose different things so I have a different adventure each time.~ I know! Crazy, isn't it? I guess you could call me a WILD AND CRAZY kinda gal!
*Last off, God. I go to church on most sundays, and me and my priest are like *this*. We talk on the phone all the time, and we help each other out with our problems. He's the BEST at giving boy advice, and I help him out with the marital problems he has. Sometimes, he even bakes me chocolate chip cookies. I LOOOOOVE COOKIES!!
Well, I think I've told you guys enough. I am really excited to meet all of you.
Call me or e-mail me ASAP!
toodleloo~
Linderooney (aka Lindsey H.)
EMAIL NUMBER 2
Title: hi kids
OH MY GOD!! aren't you guys excited?!?! this is going to be the best time of your life...like totally the best. like oh my god!! i'm so excited...i'm about to pee in my pants ;)
so anyway, let me tell all you guys a little bit about myself. i am a WM looking for other Fs My hobbies include dog grooming (only on weekends), chilling with my BEST friends in the world (Shelly, Roberta and Gilda!!~ you go gurls!), talking to my youth pastor, and just LOOVING LIFE!!
ok. i'm an engineering major, and its REALLY a lot of fun. i get to add and divide stuff all day and talk about physics of the universe. PLEEASE SIGN UP FOR Prof Kiers class. its AMAZING. seriously- it was one of my favorite classes.
well, i have decided to include a turn on and turn off list. here is GOES!! *laughs with a snort*
TURN ONS:
1) i love talking to girls...PAJAMA PARTIES~~ OMG- they're SOO much fun!
2) touching myself with Binky, my FAVE stuffed animal in the world (he's sooo cute!)
3) watching "Steel Magnolias" and "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!"
4) i totally love the Lakers- they're the BEST football team ever! GO LAKERS!
5) taking trips to chicago...CHICAGO HAMBURGERS ARE THE BEST!
TURN OFFS:
1) ethnic people (like people from other planets, you silly sheep!)
2) MILFs
3) hairy cowboys
4) B.O.
5) blue balls
Well, i am TOTALLY PSYKED ABOUT MEETING ALL YOU GUYS! its gonna be SO much fun. just call me or e-mail me or something. i hope you are as excited as i am~~...tehehe *chuckles koi-ly like a japanese school girl*
Luv ya~
Brian **my best buds call me Brilee ;)
EMAIL NUMBER 3:
Title: greetings earthlings!
shalom!
hey fellow shepard-arians! i hope you are getting pumped for an awesome time!! 5 out of 6 shepards virgins lose their virginity in the first 3 months, so you have a LOT to look forward to.
my name is Adam, but the people who really know me just call me Lil' Mo G. i grew up in the Bronx up in NY...aka Buffalo, and i'm always representing the north fo' sheezy. i really didn't pick NU. i was rejected by all the ivy leagues, so i kind of had to settle for here...but i all honesty, I LOVE IT! (besides, i don't know any better!!)
i have a girlfriend, who's absolutely FABULOUS! we don't do anything physically, because i really want to hold out for the right girl. we try to keep our relationship strictly non-physical, b/c my rabbi says that things could get a bit "sticky" if done otherwise. *wink wink* in addition to my gf, i love learning hebrew and reading the torah.
my father is a locksmith.
as far as my interests go, i'm really into translating the torah. in my spare time (especially during the summers), i work as an FFA (future farmers of america) volunteer, planting proper vegetation for those less fortunate. i'm a Agriculture major here at NU, and i'm loving every bit of it!
i am really hoping to combine by love of Hebrew and Agriculture, so i can move to Jerusalem and plant corn for the chosen people. i really like corn b/c its yellow and juicy. i don't like how it gets all up in your teeth, but i feel like the corn is God's way of saying "i'm a good vegetable. you get rind in your teeth because i taste so good. enjoy every yellow-y bit of me. yea. i am good." i really feel a spiritual connection with corn. while i am jewish, i still love christians! even though i don't think Jesus is the messiah, i'm sure he was a REALLY cool guy.
i feel like i've written an entire novel!! silly me. here are some other interests of mine: Mrs. PacMan (i think she should be called PacWoMan. get it? LOL!!), intro to Agriculture (i recommend it to everyone!), and dancing the hora...
MUZZLE TOFF TO YOU ALL!! i'm looking forward to meeting you in peace.
shalom.
Adam
**HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED...and with that, i shall bid thee all adieu!**
A) getting a MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella shot)
B) hanging out with Nelly
hmm...well, the doctor's office, as usual, was gross, and i was glad to get in and out of there~ (the same feeling after you purchase a hotel and a cheap whore; you want her one moment, and in a minute, you just want her gone). i am not really scared of shots, but i realized the prick doesn't hurt nearly as much as the sting of fluids going in to your HOT BOD. i was hoping the nurse would inject it in the side of my fat A, but (woe!) she shot me in the arm...
afterwards, i met up with Nelly, and we went to WalMart where i bought TONS of shit...like lube, nonoxyl-9, propecia, allegra, prozac, aderol, diflucan, celebrex (yeah~ *sing it with me*: celebrex, celebrex, come on celebrex!)... think that was about it...all the "dorm room essentials".
i swear the diflucan isn't for me. seriously. its not mine. i bought it for...umm...a friend. you know. its not mine. don't think its mine, because its not because i bought it for someone else. okay? QUIT ACCUSING ME OF OWNING IT! I TOLD YOU LIKE TEN FUCKING TIMES THAT IT ISN'T MINE! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!??? THIS ISN'T A JOKE....*eyes water*...its not mine. stop making fun of me for owning it...since its not mine.
last night was fun. i hung out with neenee, lunchbox and punkin (as you can tell from the previous post). lunchbox and punkin live in the same residential college at NU, and so they were receiving mass "freshmen personals" from the new res. college freshmen. they were all on a giant "list serv", so that all the kids in the same res. college could get a hold of each other. punkin and lunchbox thought the entire system was a joke, because shitfaces and idiots were writing personal-ads like "my turns ons are...my turn offs are"...so, as a mockery of this type of behavoir. i wrote fake personals for them and their friends...these fake personals were mass-sent out to all the new NU kiddies!! i have included them here:
EMAIL NUMBER 1:
Title: *glitters with excitement*
Hey you all. I think you should be REALLY excited and proud of yourselves! You're in NU (pats self on back, and metaphorically pats all you readers' backs, too)--tehehe!
My name is Lindsey (but you can call me Linderooney for short)...I am a sophomore in SESP, which makes a REALLY silly sound if you sound it out!
Well, just to give you guys a run down of what I'm in to...There are 3 important things in my life: 1) Animals 2) Books 3) God
*First off, I LOOVE animals. I came from a really small town, so I used to bury the dead animals I could find in my back yard, and make little "tombstones" out of left over pieces of burlap and dead animal hide! They were SO adorable. I have pictures if you want to see them. Yeah- so by the time I was 13, I got into animal husbandry. My father was a minister and my mother was a pro golfer (yeah- you might have heard of her if you were a real big golf fan in the 80s). My dad's father's mother was a champion animal breeder--my parents think I got the genes from her. I said I live on a farm...so I have 3 cats, 11 sheep, 6 tortoises, 12 guinea hens and 5 dogs (whose names are Catarac, Lampshade, Jubilee, Howder and Gerund, respectively that is). Since we don't have many vet offices around here, I started mating animals as soon as I got Catarac and Lampshade. From then- I've been an animal husbandry-pro. I am hoping to join the Pro Federation League (crosses fingers)
*Second of all, I LOOOVE to read. "Choose Your Own Adventures" is my total fave genre...I've seriously read all of them at least 30 times. I know this sounds dorky, but sometimes, I choose different things so I have a different adventure each time.~ I know! Crazy, isn't it? I guess you could call me a WILD AND CRAZY kinda gal!
*Last off, God. I go to church on most sundays, and me and my priest are like *this*. We talk on the phone all the time, and we help each other out with our problems. He's the BEST at giving boy advice, and I help him out with the marital problems he has. Sometimes, he even bakes me chocolate chip cookies. I LOOOOOVE COOKIES!!
Well, I think I've told you guys enough. I am really excited to meet all of you.
Call me or e-mail me ASAP!
toodleloo~
Linderooney (aka Lindsey H.)
EMAIL NUMBER 2
Title: hi kids
OH MY GOD!! aren't you guys excited?!?! this is going to be the best time of your life...like totally the best. like oh my god!! i'm so excited...i'm about to pee in my pants ;)
so anyway, let me tell all you guys a little bit about myself. i am a WM looking for other Fs My hobbies include dog grooming (only on weekends), chilling with my BEST friends in the world (Shelly, Roberta and Gilda!!~ you go gurls!), talking to my youth pastor, and just LOOVING LIFE!!
ok. i'm an engineering major, and its REALLY a lot of fun. i get to add and divide stuff all day and talk about physics of the universe. PLEEASE SIGN UP FOR Prof Kiers class. its AMAZING. seriously- it was one of my favorite classes.
well, i have decided to include a turn on and turn off list. here is GOES!! *laughs with a snort*
TURN ONS:
1) i love talking to girls...PAJAMA PARTIES~~ OMG- they're SOO much fun!
2) touching myself with Binky, my FAVE stuffed animal in the world (he's sooo cute!)
3) watching "Steel Magnolias" and "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!"
4) i totally love the Lakers- they're the BEST football team ever! GO LAKERS!
5) taking trips to chicago...CHICAGO HAMBURGERS ARE THE BEST!
TURN OFFS:
1) ethnic people (like people from other planets, you silly sheep!)
2) MILFs
3) hairy cowboys
4) B.O.
5) blue balls
Well, i am TOTALLY PSYKED ABOUT MEETING ALL YOU GUYS! its gonna be SO much fun. just call me or e-mail me or something. i hope you are as excited as i am~~...tehehe *chuckles koi-ly like a japanese school girl*
Luv ya~
Brian **my best buds call me Brilee ;)
EMAIL NUMBER 3:
Title: greetings earthlings!
shalom!
hey fellow shepard-arians! i hope you are getting pumped for an awesome time!! 5 out of 6 shepards virgins lose their virginity in the first 3 months, so you have a LOT to look forward to.
my name is Adam, but the people who really know me just call me Lil' Mo G. i grew up in the Bronx up in NY...aka Buffalo, and i'm always representing the north fo' sheezy. i really didn't pick NU. i was rejected by all the ivy leagues, so i kind of had to settle for here...but i all honesty, I LOVE IT! (besides, i don't know any better!!)
i have a girlfriend, who's absolutely FABULOUS! we don't do anything physically, because i really want to hold out for the right girl. we try to keep our relationship strictly non-physical, b/c my rabbi says that things could get a bit "sticky" if done otherwise. *wink wink* in addition to my gf, i love learning hebrew and reading the torah.
my father is a locksmith.
as far as my interests go, i'm really into translating the torah. in my spare time (especially during the summers), i work as an FFA (future farmers of america) volunteer, planting proper vegetation for those less fortunate. i'm a Agriculture major here at NU, and i'm loving every bit of it!
i am really hoping to combine by love of Hebrew and Agriculture, so i can move to Jerusalem and plant corn for the chosen people. i really like corn b/c its yellow and juicy. i don't like how it gets all up in your teeth, but i feel like the corn is God's way of saying "i'm a good vegetable. you get rind in your teeth because i taste so good. enjoy every yellow-y bit of me. yea. i am good." i really feel a spiritual connection with corn. while i am jewish, i still love christians! even though i don't think Jesus is the messiah, i'm sure he was a REALLY cool guy.
i feel like i've written an entire novel!! silly me. here are some other interests of mine: Mrs. PacMan (i think she should be called PacWoMan. get it? LOL!!), intro to Agriculture (i recommend it to everyone!), and dancing the hora...
MUZZLE TOFF TO YOU ALL!! i'm looking forward to meeting you in peace.
shalom.
Adam
**HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED...and with that, i shall bid thee all adieu!**
posted by Joe @ 5:01 PM
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