"are you listenin'? woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" - jimmy eat world
well, well, well. its nice to be back again- whistlin' and twerkin' it like no other.
today was a pretty long and busy day. the night before, i hadn't gone to sleep until around 6 or something. i don't remember exactly why...but anywhoo, i had to wake up at--OO WAIT. i just remembered why i was up so late. i was watching "in the bedroom" starring sissy spacek, and it was, by far, one of the best-acted, WORST-movies i have ever seen. kind of like "the hours" where the acting is really good, but at the end of it all, you are thinking "whaT whaT whaT?!--8 am b/c i had an orthodontist appointment at 9. and by orthodontist, i really mean urologist.
so i went to the orthodontist/urologist, and had my "retainer" (yeah- you know that really means...) adjusted. i was blessed to be assisted by "Prissi", my favorite dental assistant there...and i believe i like her the best because her name is, indeed, an adjective. isn't that cool? *jealous and wishes "Joe" were an adjective...SOBS WAILS CRIES DIES!* when that was finished, i got my free ice cream bar (yeah- we get free ice cream) and jetted out of that mofo.
after that was all said and done, i went to Cool Springs to get my pay check. i was all sad b/c i wanted to take some private ice skating lessons before i left for school, but there just wasn't enough time! instead, i went in there and talked, i mean FUCKED, my boss(es) and gave them a self addressed stamped envelope for them to mail me my check for "oral services".
i called neenee, and headed down to Media Play where i bought a new CD/Alarm radio (a Sony Psyc) and a pair of Sony earphones on my dad's card. he doesn't know that i bought the earphones for 20 buckeroonies, so i hope he doesn't get in the credit card report before i leave!
*takes a sip of grapefruit juice*
after that, we headed out to the mall...since we seem to always win these FREE SHOPPING SPREES! actually, i didn't get that much...pretty much like 5 beanies and two new t-shirts. the lady who worked at American Eagle was so very nice- i felt bad for duping her. i was like "can you hold these pants for me! i have to run out to the car and get my card!!" and she was like "oo sure- honey, what's your name and i'll save them for you" and i said "umm...my name's Jay...Jay Chung". tehehehe
unfortunately, i couldn't shop till i dropped all day b/c i head to go to Alive at 25 for my speeding ticket from way back when. the class was from 5 to 9:30, but i was SOO tired from only getting 2 hours of sleep that night that i took a "Junior Nap" (aka Quickie) for one hour before i had to leave.
ALIVE AT 25, i must admit, wasn't all that bad. our teacher-lady-person was a psycho that pretty much interviewed each and every one of us like we were in therapy. i met some cool kids. lemme run through a few of them:
JASON: red-neck type kid who was dippin' snuff. he was the "designated" writer on the white board. the teacher was impressed b/c he went to FSU on soccer scholarship. well, she was impressed until she saw his writing on the bored. for instance, "ignoring" was spelled "ENORING" and "animals" was spelled "ANMIALS". i thought *wow* and the teacher thought *hmm...i guess he really did mean soccer scholarship when he said it.* he was, however, a nice kid.
CHRIS: sad next to me and dipped snuff with jason. he was going to be a senior at B'wood academy, and wanted to go to Ole Miss. when asked to choose one word to describe himself, he said "deceitful". from that moment on, i talked to him about where i slept in my room, when my parents were home, where the money in our house was hiding, and i immediately lended him my important credit card numbers and social security number. silly him! deceitful? he didn't deceive me at all!
KATHLEEN: this mini-sized young womanwas caught speeding on her way to church. coming from boston, and living in nashvegas for 2 years, she's looking to hit the christian rock scene, while waiting for her hubby to come back from being in the armed forces.
Four BLACK GIRLS: i dont' remember all their names. one, who spoke REALLY ghetto and had like 300 tickets and 500 accidents was hitting on me. she lives on Kirkwood, so i might stop by for a booty call. another of of the girls got really into the teacher's psychoanlyzations, and was like "i just don't know why i speed. i have a problem. i recognize that. i just don't know why i drive everywhere like i'm in a hurry *sniffles*....i just don't understand", to which i replied "thats great! the first step to solving a problem is to admit to yourself that you have one". another black girl, who called me "Yale" in place of my god-given christian name, asked me if my parents worked in a nail salon/gas station...no, seriously, she did. and the last black girl slept. *cool*
MELANIE: melanie was an interior-type design major with an aspiring artist, soon-to-be husband. i talked to her about design and f-ing her boyfriend...and gave her advice on where for him to go on consignment for his paintings.
THE DUMBEST KID ALIVE: this kid was not worth naming. when asked how old he was, he replied "i'm 16. i'm supposed to be in the 11th grade, but i'm in 9th" and i was jealous of him from that moment on. representing Hillwood HS SOO WELL, he was in Alive at 25 for (and i am DEAD serious):
"...driving 87 mph in a four wheeler on charlotte at noon while skipping school..."
no wonder he was in that class. when the kid left the room. the teacher said "God help him..."...i just said "call me!"
one the whole i made a whole lot of new friends. BFFs FOREVER! well, as mentioned earlier, i hadn't gotten much sleep. the fact that, during our lunch break, it rained as soon as i made my way to burger king didn't help at all...and i was wearing Sanuk squishy sandles...so i had water all up in my business. the guys i was with ditched me for "Hooters". when asked why i didn't go with them, i said "i mean...the food is just too good and too pricey for my range! i wasn't gonna tip no hoe just to give me a glass of water."
"HOW I GOT PISSED OFF"
my dad told me to call him if my class got out early, and that he would pick me up at 9:30pm if i didn't call.
here i am, standing on the corner of 3rd and Union, in the middle of downtown at night. its 9:45, and my dad, who is a slow ass driver, has not arrived.
i am sleepy, angry, aggrivated, annoyed, wet (not vaginally), sticky from humidity and semen, and just plain PISSED OFF.
my brother called and told me that he found the PERFECT laptop for me from Dell's refurbished products (which are products that were returned...and Dell resells them for like 1/3rd of the cost) but that his DUMBASS didn't order it ahead of time, and then it wasn't there any more. i was pissed.
on top of that, i called the house to see where the fuck my dad was. to my disbelief, he HADN'T EVEN LEFT THE GODDAMN HOUSE!!!
when he finally got to me like 30 minutes later (and, mind you, i only live like 3 miles from where i was standing...i do not know WHY it took him 20 fucking minutes to get there) we had a yelling fest where i yelled at him for not using his common sense.
#1. i was mad because he TOLD me he was going to pick me up at 9:30pm.
#2. he said that i was supposed to call him, but i was like "WHY WOULD I STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWN TOWN FOR 20 MINUTES WHEN YOU KNOW THAT THE CLASS GETS OUT AT 9:30pm??"
#3. he said, "well, its downtown. its hard to find parking." i said "IT'S 9:30 AT NIGHT, HOW MUCH F-ING TRAFFIC IS THERE?!?!?! and besides, YOU COULD DRIVE IN A CIRCLE A COUPLE TIMES INSTEAD OF LEAVING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT BY MYSELF!!!"
#4. i said "YOU SHOULD JUST CALL ME IF YOU WANTED ME TO CALL YOU WHEN I GOT OUT." he said that he didnt' want to call b/c i was in class. i said "I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I HAD THE DAMN THING ON VIBRATE!!"
#5. we argued about other stuff b/c i was really pissed off and on my period. and, btw, i don't use curse words when talking to my dad. that was an added affect.
SO ANYWAY- i get home at 10:30. i was supposed to hang out with OraLaura, but that never happened b/c i came home so late. my brother was supposed to be at home to order me a laptop, but he didn't end up showing until like 11. LUCKILY FOR HIM and for me, the laptop he thought had disappeared had shown up again (phew!) and we ordered it.
BUT I WAS STILL F-ING HUNGRY. so i ordered some food from "The Wing Basket" and my lovely mummy went out and picked up the order for me.
I ATE. I DRANK. I CRAPPED. I PISSED. I BRUSHED MY TEETH. I WATCHED SOME TV. AND I WENT TO BED.
shoowee- what a long day~
today was a pretty long and busy day. the night before, i hadn't gone to sleep until around 6 or something. i don't remember exactly why...but anywhoo, i had to wake up at--OO WAIT. i just remembered why i was up so late. i was watching "in the bedroom" starring sissy spacek, and it was, by far, one of the best-acted, WORST-movies i have ever seen. kind of like "the hours" where the acting is really good, but at the end of it all, you are thinking "whaT whaT whaT?!--8 am b/c i had an orthodontist appointment at 9. and by orthodontist, i really mean urologist.
so i went to the orthodontist/urologist, and had my "retainer" (yeah- you know that really means...) adjusted. i was blessed to be assisted by "Prissi", my favorite dental assistant there...and i believe i like her the best because her name is, indeed, an adjective. isn't that cool? *jealous and wishes "Joe" were an adjective...SOBS WAILS CRIES DIES!* when that was finished, i got my free ice cream bar (yeah- we get free ice cream) and jetted out of that mofo.
after that was all said and done, i went to Cool Springs to get my pay check. i was all sad b/c i wanted to take some private ice skating lessons before i left for school, but there just wasn't enough time! instead, i went in there and talked, i mean FUCKED, my boss(es) and gave them a self addressed stamped envelope for them to mail me my check for "oral services".
i called neenee, and headed down to Media Play where i bought a new CD/Alarm radio (a Sony Psyc) and a pair of Sony earphones on my dad's card. he doesn't know that i bought the earphones for 20 buckeroonies, so i hope he doesn't get in the credit card report before i leave!
*takes a sip of grapefruit juice*
after that, we headed out to the mall...since we seem to always win these FREE SHOPPING SPREES! actually, i didn't get that much...pretty much like 5 beanies and two new t-shirts. the lady who worked at American Eagle was so very nice- i felt bad for duping her. i was like "can you hold these pants for me! i have to run out to the car and get my card!!" and she was like "oo sure- honey, what's your name and i'll save them for you" and i said "umm...my name's Jay...Jay Chung". tehehehe
unfortunately, i couldn't shop till i dropped all day b/c i head to go to Alive at 25 for my speeding ticket from way back when. the class was from 5 to 9:30, but i was SOO tired from only getting 2 hours of sleep that night that i took a "Junior Nap" (aka Quickie) for one hour before i had to leave.
ALIVE AT 25, i must admit, wasn't all that bad. our teacher-lady-person was a psycho that pretty much interviewed each and every one of us like we were in therapy. i met some cool kids. lemme run through a few of them:
JASON: red-neck type kid who was dippin' snuff. he was the "designated" writer on the white board. the teacher was impressed b/c he went to FSU on soccer scholarship. well, she was impressed until she saw his writing on the bored. for instance, "ignoring" was spelled "ENORING" and "animals" was spelled "ANMIALS". i thought *wow* and the teacher thought *hmm...i guess he really did mean soccer scholarship when he said it.* he was, however, a nice kid.
CHRIS: sad next to me and dipped snuff with jason. he was going to be a senior at B'wood academy, and wanted to go to Ole Miss. when asked to choose one word to describe himself, he said "deceitful". from that moment on, i talked to him about where i slept in my room, when my parents were home, where the money in our house was hiding, and i immediately lended him my important credit card numbers and social security number. silly him! deceitful? he didn't deceive me at all!
KATHLEEN: this mini-sized young womanwas caught speeding on her way to church. coming from boston, and living in nashvegas for 2 years, she's looking to hit the christian rock scene, while waiting for her hubby to come back from being in the armed forces.
Four BLACK GIRLS: i dont' remember all their names. one, who spoke REALLY ghetto and had like 300 tickets and 500 accidents was hitting on me. she lives on Kirkwood, so i might stop by for a booty call. another of of the girls got really into the teacher's psychoanlyzations, and was like "i just don't know why i speed. i have a problem. i recognize that. i just don't know why i drive everywhere like i'm in a hurry *sniffles*....i just don't understand", to which i replied "thats great! the first step to solving a problem is to admit to yourself that you have one". another black girl, who called me "Yale" in place of my god-given christian name, asked me if my parents worked in a nail salon/gas station...no, seriously, she did. and the last black girl slept. *cool*
MELANIE: melanie was an interior-type design major with an aspiring artist, soon-to-be husband. i talked to her about design and f-ing her boyfriend...and gave her advice on where for him to go on consignment for his paintings.
THE DUMBEST KID ALIVE: this kid was not worth naming. when asked how old he was, he replied "i'm 16. i'm supposed to be in the 11th grade, but i'm in 9th" and i was jealous of him from that moment on. representing Hillwood HS SOO WELL, he was in Alive at 25 for (and i am DEAD serious):
"...driving 87 mph in a four wheeler on charlotte at noon while skipping school..."
no wonder he was in that class. when the kid left the room. the teacher said "God help him..."...i just said "call me!"
one the whole i made a whole lot of new friends. BFFs FOREVER! well, as mentioned earlier, i hadn't gotten much sleep. the fact that, during our lunch break, it rained as soon as i made my way to burger king didn't help at all...and i was wearing Sanuk squishy sandles...so i had water all up in my business. the guys i was with ditched me for "Hooters". when asked why i didn't go with them, i said "i mean...the food is just too good and too pricey for my range! i wasn't gonna tip no hoe just to give me a glass of water."
"HOW I GOT PISSED OFF"
my dad told me to call him if my class got out early, and that he would pick me up at 9:30pm if i didn't call.
here i am, standing on the corner of 3rd and Union, in the middle of downtown at night. its 9:45, and my dad, who is a slow ass driver, has not arrived.
i am sleepy, angry, aggrivated, annoyed, wet (not vaginally), sticky from humidity and semen, and just plain PISSED OFF.
my brother called and told me that he found the PERFECT laptop for me from Dell's refurbished products (which are products that were returned...and Dell resells them for like 1/3rd of the cost) but that his DUMBASS didn't order it ahead of time, and then it wasn't there any more. i was pissed.
on top of that, i called the house to see where the fuck my dad was. to my disbelief, he HADN'T EVEN LEFT THE GODDAMN HOUSE!!!
when he finally got to me like 30 minutes later (and, mind you, i only live like 3 miles from where i was standing...i do not know WHY it took him 20 fucking minutes to get there) we had a yelling fest where i yelled at him for not using his common sense.
#1. i was mad because he TOLD me he was going to pick me up at 9:30pm.
#2. he said that i was supposed to call him, but i was like "WHY WOULD I STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWN TOWN FOR 20 MINUTES WHEN YOU KNOW THAT THE CLASS GETS OUT AT 9:30pm??"
#3. he said, "well, its downtown. its hard to find parking." i said "IT'S 9:30 AT NIGHT, HOW MUCH F-ING TRAFFIC IS THERE?!?!?! and besides, YOU COULD DRIVE IN A CIRCLE A COUPLE TIMES INSTEAD OF LEAVING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT BY MYSELF!!!"
#4. i said "YOU SHOULD JUST CALL ME IF YOU WANTED ME TO CALL YOU WHEN I GOT OUT." he said that he didnt' want to call b/c i was in class. i said "I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I HAD THE DAMN THING ON VIBRATE!!"
#5. we argued about other stuff b/c i was really pissed off and on my period. and, btw, i don't use curse words when talking to my dad. that was an added affect.
SO ANYWAY- i get home at 10:30. i was supposed to hang out with OraLaura, but that never happened b/c i came home so late. my brother was supposed to be at home to order me a laptop, but he didn't end up showing until like 11. LUCKILY FOR HIM and for me, the laptop he thought had disappeared had shown up again (phew!) and we ordered it.
BUT I WAS STILL F-ING HUNGRY. so i ordered some food from "The Wing Basket" and my lovely mummy went out and picked up the order for me.
I ATE. I DRANK. I CRAPPED. I PISSED. I BRUSHED MY TEETH. I WATCHED SOME TV. AND I WENT TO BED.
shoowee- what a long day~
posted by Joe @ 8:24 PM
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