la voiture maudite
dearest blog:
the other day, i nearly died (again) in the beloved Mazda Millenia *damn that cursed car*. so anyway, i'm driving down to neenee's house to house-sit with bapple, and i'm just cruisin along I-65 S singing "...can you practice what you preach and learn to turn the other cheek..." AND THEN...the worst happened.
Because of the hydroplaning wreck, the front hood of my car was a tiny bit dented. everything internally, such as the engine and crap, worked perfectly, so i was still allowed to drive it...but lo' and behold-- out of no where my front windshield turns black and cracks down the center.
i am stunned. (but i manage to keep on singing)
after regaining my sanity, i realized that the front hood of my car had completely blown over the top of my windshield, cracking and covering my windshield as i am driving down the middle lane of the interstate right before the Harding Exit. i was scared shitless. i stopped the car, put on the warning lights and called my mommy....she was on her way to save me.
i pulled the car over on the side when, praying that there wasn't a stopped car in front of me (b/c i couldn't see anything with my windshield covered). i waited...waited...and waited...i called home, and my cousin, Bank, picked up the phone and told me that the parentals had left 10 mins ago. luckily, a TDOT (tennesee highway patrol guy) truck flies in to save the day, and a man got out and tied the front of my hood down with a wire to a hook in the front hood of the car. he told me not to drive more than 30 or 40 mph or else air will catch under the hood, and he also said i should prolly drive on second hand roads...and as the guy is helping me out, the parental units FINALLY get there. b/c i was on my way to neenee's, i had to switch cars with my parents, who had driven the Toyota Cressida. my dad, who really has everything go in one ear and out the other, COMPLETELY missed what the TDOT man had said, and was like "noo~ you [joe] drive the Mazda" and my mom and i were like "did you completely miss what the TDOT man had just said??" so they leave and i go to neenee's and all is fine. Elohim.
i had dinner at home with the family on Sunday night, and my brother, Yin, asks why the car is so fucked up. my mom gives the rundown but says "that's all i'm going to say. i dont' want to get into it again". and i, of course, am like "what more is there to tell?" and, as usual, my mom shpiels on what happened. apparently, after i had called home to tell the parentals that my hood had blown over the top of my car, my parents were eating dinner. immediately, my mom, after i called, got out of her chair and went to save me...my father, on the other hand, was like "no~ lemme feenish my deener" (he has an asian accent)...and my mom is like "WTF? your son is stranded on a highway...and you want me to wait 5 minutes for you to eat? screw you!" well, my dad eventually finished his meal, and that's what took my parents to long to get to the scene of the crime.
thank you mommy.
this is what the Mazda looked like pre-hydroplaning/psycho-hood-flying-over windshield:
*whimpers* it was my personal favorite, and my family's only nice, used car. *rest in peace* (ps. that isn't me in the car. i'm not a white male...i'm actually black).
for those that you who don't know, the car will probably be scrapped and destroyed b/c the costs to fix it are more expensive than its worth. *blows nose* the good side to all of this is that we might get a new used car. the bad side is that i have to drive the stinky Toyota Cressida (that has blackgas spray from the exhaust pipe...and accelerates at like 5mph when i have the gas pedal ALL the way down) to work. it sucks b/c when i drive on small roads, everyone cuts me b/c of the smoke and b/c the car drives too slowly. let's just hope a copper doesn't see the smoke and pull me over. i already have a court date on July 14th! here's a pic of my obselete 1988 Toyota Cressida:
wait. i can't find a picture. the car sucks too much.
anyway, my mom is leaving tomorrow to go up to Maine and party with her gal pals. she got a boquet of flowers from a secret admirer today...my dad was jealous. actually, she found some guy's suit case and mailed it back to him...so he mailed her flowers to say thanks. *how sweet!*
this picture, here, is in loving memory of Abram Boise (you might know him as Abe from the Road Rules: South Pacific). everyone, and by everyone i mean bapple and i, will miss you...you were our favorit-est and hottest on the show...and we will miss you.
IN LOVING MEMORY:
i feel like this picture best captures abe's free-loving spirit, and undeniable grace. Let the HTML candles burn for you eternally, signifying your everlasting presence in our hearts and memories. you shall live on.
*whimpers again...blows nose with used tissue*
To read more about Abe, check out:
Abe's Journal
All About Abe
you will be missed...may future challenges bring you back to the television screen.
and on that sad note, i will depart.
FUNNY PICK FOR THE DAY:
how inspiring!
the other day, i nearly died (again) in the beloved Mazda Millenia *damn that cursed car*. so anyway, i'm driving down to neenee's house to house-sit with bapple, and i'm just cruisin along I-65 S singing "...can you practice what you preach and learn to turn the other cheek..." AND THEN...the worst happened.
Because of the hydroplaning wreck, the front hood of my car was a tiny bit dented. everything internally, such as the engine and crap, worked perfectly, so i was still allowed to drive it...but lo' and behold-- out of no where my front windshield turns black and cracks down the center.
i am stunned. (but i manage to keep on singing)
after regaining my sanity, i realized that the front hood of my car had completely blown over the top of my windshield, cracking and covering my windshield as i am driving down the middle lane of the interstate right before the Harding Exit. i was scared shitless. i stopped the car, put on the warning lights and called my mommy....she was on her way to save me.
i pulled the car over on the side when, praying that there wasn't a stopped car in front of me (b/c i couldn't see anything with my windshield covered). i waited...waited...and waited...i called home, and my cousin, Bank, picked up the phone and told me that the parentals had left 10 mins ago. luckily, a TDOT (tennesee highway patrol guy) truck flies in to save the day, and a man got out and tied the front of my hood down with a wire to a hook in the front hood of the car. he told me not to drive more than 30 or 40 mph or else air will catch under the hood, and he also said i should prolly drive on second hand roads...and as the guy is helping me out, the parental units FINALLY get there. b/c i was on my way to neenee's, i had to switch cars with my parents, who had driven the Toyota Cressida. my dad, who really has everything go in one ear and out the other, COMPLETELY missed what the TDOT man had said, and was like "noo~ you [joe] drive the Mazda" and my mom and i were like "did you completely miss what the TDOT man had just said??" so they leave and i go to neenee's and all is fine. Elohim.
i had dinner at home with the family on Sunday night, and my brother, Yin, asks why the car is so fucked up. my mom gives the rundown but says "that's all i'm going to say. i dont' want to get into it again". and i, of course, am like "what more is there to tell?" and, as usual, my mom shpiels on what happened. apparently, after i had called home to tell the parentals that my hood had blown over the top of my car, my parents were eating dinner. immediately, my mom, after i called, got out of her chair and went to save me...my father, on the other hand, was like "no~ lemme feenish my deener" (he has an asian accent)...and my mom is like "WTF? your son is stranded on a highway...and you want me to wait 5 minutes for you to eat? screw you!" well, my dad eventually finished his meal, and that's what took my parents to long to get to the scene of the crime.
thank you mommy.
this is what the Mazda looked like pre-hydroplaning/psycho-hood-flying-over windshield:
*whimpers* it was my personal favorite, and my family's only nice, used car. *rest in peace* (ps. that isn't me in the car. i'm not a white male...i'm actually black).
for those that you who don't know, the car will probably be scrapped and destroyed b/c the costs to fix it are more expensive than its worth. *blows nose* the good side to all of this is that we might get a new used car. the bad side is that i have to drive the stinky Toyota Cressida (that has blackgas spray from the exhaust pipe...and accelerates at like 5mph when i have the gas pedal ALL the way down) to work. it sucks b/c when i drive on small roads, everyone cuts me b/c of the smoke and b/c the car drives too slowly. let's just hope a copper doesn't see the smoke and pull me over. i already have a court date on July 14th! here's a pic of my obselete 1988 Toyota Cressida:
wait. i can't find a picture. the car sucks too much.
anyway, my mom is leaving tomorrow to go up to Maine and party with her gal pals. she got a boquet of flowers from a secret admirer today...my dad was jealous. actually, she found some guy's suit case and mailed it back to him...so he mailed her flowers to say thanks. *how sweet!*
this picture, here, is in loving memory of Abram Boise (you might know him as Abe from the Road Rules: South Pacific). everyone, and by everyone i mean bapple and i, will miss you...you were our favorit-est and hottest on the show...and we will miss you.
IN LOVING MEMORY:
i feel like this picture best captures abe's free-loving spirit, and undeniable grace. Let the HTML candles burn for you eternally, signifying your everlasting presence in our hearts and memories. you shall live on.
*whimpers again...blows nose with used tissue*
To read more about Abe, check out:
Abe's Journal
All About Abe
you will be missed...may future challenges bring you back to the television screen.
and on that sad note, i will depart.
FUNNY PICK FOR THE DAY:
how inspiring!
posted by Joe @ 8:46 PM
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