i break a little more than cherries...

what a good and bad day! i'm such a fucked up lame-o, i can't even wake up on time. after falling asleep at about 6:30 am in the morning, i had to wake up at 10:15 am cus i was going to neenee's boat. the alarm clocked in with "Aida" playing, and, as usual, i just slept and fell back asleep to the music. i guess it defeats the purpose of having an alarm clock that plays CDs...b/c you just sleep to the CDs. damn me! so anywhoo, i hear a bang on my door, look around, and see that it is 10:47 am and neenee and bapple are already at my house. ugh...rush rush rush...i went stuffin all my shit in a bag...and we were off!!

i just remembered...what kept me up from going to bed on time was the episode of "The Osbournes" that was taped on the same video as "The Real World: Paris". kelly and jack get in a fight (...again...i know, its original, isn't it?) and jack uses the word "confrontate" instead of "confront". for example:
"you confrontated me" and
"why did you have to confrontate me like that?"
my question is: why are the english so stupid?

the sucky thing about me in the morning is i'm a fucking bitch. i thought that a lack of sleep didn't really affect me...and it doesnt. i can put 1 and 1 together and know that it makes 2...i'm still on point...i'm just a really really angry bitch. sorry bapple- but seriously, you looked so bad in the sunglasses that it hurt...but you make it hurt soo good.

well, today was a day of firsts for me. i lost my virginity to "cliff jumping" and "water skiing" (are those new sex positions or actual activities...i bet you wanna know...tehehe). it was a bunch of fun getting enemas with lake water while i cliff jumped and dropping a water pump (which doubles as a neenee's douche bag) in the water. lucky for her, i found it online, reordered, and its one her way to her dad's house! here's an apologetic shout out to the head of the Morton family household: sorry charlie! i didn't mean to drop it...and since i'm apologizing for things, i might as well apologize to a couple other peeps whose items i have either broken or lost:

to bapple, sorry for:
a) breaking the white, glass pawn on top of the television
b) breaking your vibrator (i didn't know you weren't supposed to put it there!...sorry)
c) breaking the plate
d) breaking the glass
e) tracking in mudd when we got back home from Hilton head...i still remember your dad making me vaccuum the mud at about 5 in the morning...o the memories!
to neenee, sorry for:
a) cumming on your boyfriend
b) spilling nail polish remover on your bedside table
c) telling cool terry that you were "easy" (hehe)
d) stealing every boy friend you have
e) watching haley break the mug while she was "drunk"

wow! did that take a load off my chest (and by "taking a load off my chest"...i am not referring to wiping semen off my chest...). now i can rest in peace!

i heart ace. he rocks.

my favorite quote: "I really like XXXtina...she wears her heart on her shoulder...kinda like myself!"

now for the bad news:
when i hydroplaned on my way to pick up my brother from the airport, my mom's millenia got fucked up. the parental units took the car to the shop, and its going to be $5,625...FUCK ME *hits self in head 5-11 times in succession*. i tried not to speed so i could prevent myself from hydroplaning, and i still fucked up. fuck me! i'm a fucking idiot. here i am, going to Chicago to spend money even more, and i fucked up a car that is going to cost a little more than half of my financial aid at yale. why am i such a fuck up. wah!

for the double whammy, my mom just got in a wreck in October, and it hasn't even been a year...so if we decide to claim the 5,600 bucks on our insurance, we'll loose our insurance. if we pay for it out of our pockets, its just a hell of a lot of money to pay. what are we going to do? thank god my dad got rehired *crosses fingers*...i dont' feel as bad when both parentals are rolling in the dough.

if you wanna look at the costs...here they are:

Parts 2695.91
Body Labor 1088.00
Paint Labor 680.00
Paint Supplies 480.00
Sublet/Misc. 220.00
SUBTOTAL 5163.91
Sales Tax 457.31

GRAND TOTAL 5621.22

times like these make me wish i lived in communist china...for some reason, i feel like it would be cheaper to have my car fixed in china.

well, i think i am going to go fuck around, eat some grub, make another bong, and watch a movie (perhaps Fiddler on the Roof).
Since i mentioned Fiddler on the Roof, here are a few links to satisfy your appetite for the Jewish culture (i just love the jews!):
Yiddish 101
A little Star Wars twist on my favorite song: check it!

and in the spirit of the moment, i shall bid thee all adieu with: A sheynem dank!! (Yiddish for Thank you Very Much).

Thanks for tuning in. au revoir!