WELCOME TO MY WORLD! mwahah! these blogs seem kinda fun. i guess i'll start one.
well, seeing as that i am always bored and "most like to always be online"...i might as well make good use of my time and make this super duper cool blog. i'm not that good with html/java or whatever the fuck that is...but sit back...relax...and enjoy-- hell! you could even touch yourself- i wouldn't care!
if you have decided to touch yourself over reading my blog, here's something that might help for those of you with the yellow fevah (here's a hint:
)
so...life, as usual is pretty dull...in fact, it is 4:30 in the morning, and look...i'm fucking around on a newly created blog...god am i a loser...thats not even the worst part: i've got a recorded video tape of "the real world: paris" repeating itself on my television. if i can't life a good life on my own, at least i can live through others.
today was a pretty cool day...i guess. i woke up at like 3:30 because the damn sun was in my eyes *shakes fist at sky*...damn you sun. and i decided it was probably a keen time to roll out of bed and act like a civilized human being. neenee called and asked me to go to the lake at 10:30 am, so tomorrow (or today), i'll have a reason to wake up. depressing, isn't it? the only reason i have for waking up is for other people. funnily enough, i'm not that depressed at all...but for those of you who read into things, i'll pretend that i'm an uber-depressed loser so you have something to psychoanalyze about what i write...and if you are no psycho-analyst, you can always feel better about yourself by thinking about how dumb i am. wah!
someone get me a bowflex...please...pretty please! i would like to put on muscle, and the bowflex commercials have been proven to show results. i mean, stay up till four in the morning and watch the infomercial! i believe everything i see, and i must say "wow"...those before and after photos are amazing. i need to get sexified for the Real World so i can get on a cast someday. *sighs* how lovely will it be when i can be financially indepedent. self exploitation vs. money...hmm...i'll take the money. i'll unexploit myself after i get filthy rich.
i went to "movies in the park" today with an old governor's school friend. the movie was top gun, but they told me it was supposed to be Men In Black. at first i was like "yea! i've never seen the whole thing before...maybe i'll like it". after 30 minutes, i fell asleep and never had the desire to understand what was going on. i woke up for the sex scene, and pretended to care about the movie until it ended. tom cruise is such a little guy. if you've seen the movie, have you noticed how all the guys walk with their chests buffed out like boobies when they're walking in the lockerroom together? is that what they were told to do or is it some by product of the alpha-male instinct...? hmm...*wonders* what a bad bad bad movie...i'm glad i dont live in the 80s.
my friend from governor's school, julie, went with me to a "97.1: 80s music and more" booth b/c they had a giant wheel with numbers on it, and EVERYONE knows that any wheel with giant numbers MUST be there for a reason...a reason to win something! turns out, you had to land the spinny-thing on a 9, 7 or 1 (how original) in order to win *drumroll* a PEN and custom NOTEPAD!! well, to my dismay, i landed on a fuckin 17. the lady at the booth then asked me a question from the 80s: "who played sandy in grease 2?" i responded "michelle pfeiffer", got the question right, and won the notepad and paper! lucky me, eh? julie spun the thingamabob, missed, and had to answer the question: "name two george michael songs". suprisingly enough, the only things i knew about him were:
A) he had a song called "i want your sex"
B) he was caught in an LA bathroom workin on a booty call (with a man or woman...i'll let you decide) and was arrested.
i guess i only remember things about people if it has to deal with sex...does that make me a bad person?
luckily, the woman in the 97.1 booth had pity on julie's ignorant-to-the-80s-soul, and while we could not name two george michael songs...she gave julie a pen. *how sweet!* the saddest part was the girl spinning the doohikee in front of us had to answer "name two sesame street characters" and she was unable to do so. what a dolt. sesame street has nothing to do with the 80s...it has to do with having a childhood. i guess that poor child was deprived of a normal childhood...*prays for her*...
and to rub how stupid she is in her metaphorical "face", i have recounted a list of what i remember to be the characters on SESAME STREET: big bird (a yellow bird...who can't fly! what a gimp! ha ha *laughs like ralph*), snuffalupagus (who was always high), slimey, oscar the fucking cunt, bert and ernie (the 80s version of Will and Grace), rubber duckie (ernie and bert's kinky squeaking dildo), elmo (not the vibrating...i mean tickle-me kind), ocassionally kermit the frog, the count, and cookie monster to name a few. elohim...may god have mercy on her soul.
*sunny days...sleepin the clouds away...on my way to where the air is clean...can you tell me how to get, how to get to sesame street*
i felt really bad today b/c two guys from the navy, dressed in those little white suits, got up to "present the colors" while the national anthem played. stupid me and my loud mouth decided to blurt out "i hope they're really strippers" to a crowd of mullet-headed hotties who looked like they wanted to lynch me. i make friends so easily!
the best part of the evening was this fat guy dressed in an "earth suit" (imagine a gigantic globe with a fat head popping out of the top with two arms sticking out and walking feet...that was him) who sang about the environment. for those of you who missed that once in a lifetime opportunity, "earth man" (as he was called by his peers...an awfully original name) was like the billy graham of the environment...an evangelical earth lover, if you will. he sang songs like "oh oh recycle!" and "we got the power". i have specially excerpted some lines from his o-so-inspiring song, "we got the power".
*disclaimer* as you read this, you must raise your fists to the sky and say
"WE GOT THE POWER...TO STOP POLLUTION...WE GOT THE POWER...TO CREATE SOLUTIONS!"
wow. i've got chills down my spine. that was so poignantly and so eloquently put...i don't think i'll pollute, ever again.
earthman proceeded to raise a sheet of newspaper and say "what do you do when you find this?" one would naturally think that the answer was "roll a joint", but to my dismay, he said "recycle it!"
then he raised a crushed can, and (for you weed afficianados) he said "what do you do when you find this" and, once agian, one would think "make a bong"...but he said "recycle it!" the moral of the story is, you should always recycle the things you use to smoke paraphernelia (sp?).
food for thought:
something cool is "awe-some"...in other words, it's got "some awe". something bad is "awe-ful"...like "full of awe". so i don't get it, the less "awe" something has the better? hmm...i think i may call webster tomorrow about this one.
if you like good music, download "some girls are bigger than others" by "the smiths". check out the lyrics...(i dare you to click it)
i feel like i've typed enough for today...but stay tuned for the next edition. i'll be poppin' these posts out like a teenage boy in puberty.
favorite quote of the day: "SEX CAN WAIT...MASTURBATE!"
and with that, i bid thee adieu...adieu...to you and you and you...
well, seeing as that i am always bored and "most like to always be online"...i might as well make good use of my time and make this super duper cool blog. i'm not that good with html/java or whatever the fuck that is...but sit back...relax...and enjoy-- hell! you could even touch yourself- i wouldn't care!
if you have decided to touch yourself over reading my blog, here's something that might help for those of you with the yellow fevah (here's a hint:
)
so...life, as usual is pretty dull...in fact, it is 4:30 in the morning, and look...i'm fucking around on a newly created blog...god am i a loser...thats not even the worst part: i've got a recorded video tape of "the real world: paris" repeating itself on my television. if i can't life a good life on my own, at least i can live through others.
today was a pretty cool day...i guess. i woke up at like 3:30 because the damn sun was in my eyes *shakes fist at sky*...damn you sun. and i decided it was probably a keen time to roll out of bed and act like a civilized human being. neenee called and asked me to go to the lake at 10:30 am, so tomorrow (or today), i'll have a reason to wake up. depressing, isn't it? the only reason i have for waking up is for other people. funnily enough, i'm not that depressed at all...but for those of you who read into things, i'll pretend that i'm an uber-depressed loser so you have something to psychoanalyze about what i write...and if you are no psycho-analyst, you can always feel better about yourself by thinking about how dumb i am. wah!
someone get me a bowflex...please...pretty please! i would like to put on muscle, and the bowflex commercials have been proven to show results. i mean, stay up till four in the morning and watch the infomercial! i believe everything i see, and i must say "wow"...those before and after photos are amazing. i need to get sexified for the Real World so i can get on a cast someday. *sighs* how lovely will it be when i can be financially indepedent. self exploitation vs. money...hmm...i'll take the money. i'll unexploit myself after i get filthy rich.
i went to "movies in the park" today with an old governor's school friend. the movie was top gun, but they told me it was supposed to be Men In Black. at first i was like "yea! i've never seen the whole thing before...maybe i'll like it". after 30 minutes, i fell asleep and never had the desire to understand what was going on. i woke up for the sex scene, and pretended to care about the movie until it ended. tom cruise is such a little guy. if you've seen the movie, have you noticed how all the guys walk with their chests buffed out like boobies when they're walking in the lockerroom together? is that what they were told to do or is it some by product of the alpha-male instinct...? hmm...*wonders* what a bad bad bad movie...i'm glad i dont live in the 80s.
my friend from governor's school, julie, went with me to a "97.1: 80s music and more" booth b/c they had a giant wheel with numbers on it, and EVERYONE knows that any wheel with giant numbers MUST be there for a reason...a reason to win something! turns out, you had to land the spinny-thing on a 9, 7 or 1 (how original) in order to win *drumroll* a PEN and custom NOTEPAD!! well, to my dismay, i landed on a fuckin 17. the lady at the booth then asked me a question from the 80s: "who played sandy in grease 2?" i responded "michelle pfeiffer", got the question right, and won the notepad and paper! lucky me, eh? julie spun the thingamabob, missed, and had to answer the question: "name two george michael songs". suprisingly enough, the only things i knew about him were:
A) he had a song called "i want your sex"
B) he was caught in an LA bathroom workin on a booty call (with a man or woman...i'll let you decide) and was arrested.
i guess i only remember things about people if it has to deal with sex...does that make me a bad person?
luckily, the woman in the 97.1 booth had pity on julie's ignorant-to-the-80s-soul, and while we could not name two george michael songs...she gave julie a pen. *how sweet!* the saddest part was the girl spinning the doohikee in front of us had to answer "name two sesame street characters" and she was unable to do so. what a dolt. sesame street has nothing to do with the 80s...it has to do with having a childhood. i guess that poor child was deprived of a normal childhood...*prays for her*...
and to rub how stupid she is in her metaphorical "face", i have recounted a list of what i remember to be the characters on SESAME STREET: big bird (a yellow bird...who can't fly! what a gimp! ha ha *laughs like ralph*), snuffalupagus (who was always high), slimey, oscar the fucking cunt, bert and ernie (the 80s version of Will and Grace), rubber duckie (ernie and bert's kinky squeaking dildo), elmo (not the vibrating...i mean tickle-me kind), ocassionally kermit the frog, the count, and cookie monster to name a few. elohim...may god have mercy on her soul.
*sunny days...sleepin the clouds away...on my way to where the air is clean...can you tell me how to get, how to get to sesame street*
i felt really bad today b/c two guys from the navy, dressed in those little white suits, got up to "present the colors" while the national anthem played. stupid me and my loud mouth decided to blurt out "i hope they're really strippers" to a crowd of mullet-headed hotties who looked like they wanted to lynch me. i make friends so easily!
the best part of the evening was this fat guy dressed in an "earth suit" (imagine a gigantic globe with a fat head popping out of the top with two arms sticking out and walking feet...that was him) who sang about the environment. for those of you who missed that once in a lifetime opportunity, "earth man" (as he was called by his peers...an awfully original name) was like the billy graham of the environment...an evangelical earth lover, if you will. he sang songs like "oh oh recycle!" and "we got the power". i have specially excerpted some lines from his o-so-inspiring song, "we got the power".
*disclaimer* as you read this, you must raise your fists to the sky and say
"WE GOT THE POWER...TO STOP POLLUTION...WE GOT THE POWER...TO CREATE SOLUTIONS!"
wow. i've got chills down my spine. that was so poignantly and so eloquently put...i don't think i'll pollute, ever again.
earthman proceeded to raise a sheet of newspaper and say "what do you do when you find this?" one would naturally think that the answer was "roll a joint", but to my dismay, he said "recycle it!"
then he raised a crushed can, and (for you weed afficianados) he said "what do you do when you find this" and, once agian, one would think "make a bong"...but he said "recycle it!" the moral of the story is, you should always recycle the things you use to smoke paraphernelia (sp?).
food for thought:
something cool is "awe-some"...in other words, it's got "some awe". something bad is "awe-ful"...like "full of awe". so i don't get it, the less "awe" something has the better? hmm...i think i may call webster tomorrow about this one.
if you like good music, download "some girls are bigger than others" by "the smiths". check out the lyrics...(i dare you to click it)
i feel like i've typed enough for today...but stay tuned for the next edition. i'll be poppin' these posts out like a teenage boy in puberty.
favorite quote of the day: "SEX CAN WAIT...MASTURBATE!"
and with that, i bid thee adieu...adieu...to you and you and you...
posted by Joe @ 2:35 AM
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