To All Asians, Everywhere
this weekend, i discovered the beauties of Zantac 75 and Pepcid AC, both of which get rid of the azn flush.
"what?" you asked. "i don't believe it! not the AZN flush."
yes, my friends, it is true...i have gotten rid of the azn flush, and the discomfort that comes with it.
"what is the AZN flush?" you ask.
the azn flush occurs because i, like other asians, have a defective gene. apparently, while it makes my race smarter, it also breaks down alcohol in one, huge, bottle-necked flush...hence the asian flush, and hence my face turning read and me feeling hotter, hornier and prettier than ever. "normal" people deal with the alcohol little by little. it is because of the discomfort of the azn flush that there are less azn alcoholics, except for my mother, my father, and my teenage son.
anyway, since this discovery, i pounded shouts in the mouth and up the A like no other...and didn't turn read...did turn really fucking retarded, and ultimately, went to bed crawling into it, and sleeping in my contacts without brushing my teeth.
my drunkeness on friday included: stealing a bottle of smirnoff apple twist from a party...then stealing a bottle of bacardi limon, and running around making my friends and people who i know take shots from it...dancing like a wild man in the god quad...making people hug trees...smoking a cig...calling it a night...and passing out
my drunkeness on saturday included: pouding shots in crrristos's place upstairs after showing face at albo's b-day party; it was funny because the skyy vodka berries that i was drinking was stolen from the same party the previous night...smoking in the bathroom...chillin in a hallway...SNEAKING INTO TOADS, THE MOST TRASHIEST/CLASSIEST CLUB EVER!!...and "chasing the dragon" with $ upstairs...and crawling into someone else's bed...and later on, my own bed.
for ligit info, my cousin from dartmouth and her friend from wesleyan came by. it was good to see them. i did have to turn down a trip to NYC to see "I am my own wife" on broadway, and go to the actor's loft in the upper east side afterward where refreshments would be served...and the chance to go shopping with my roomie, SportsCenter, and his buds...but, it was well worth it when Pheesh and her friend appreciated Yale and the gloriousness that it is.
*sigh of relief*
as far as being wal-mart goes, i signed with some developers, and there should be at least 2 new wal-mart chains built on the plot of lower manhattan. i came up with new, classier, wal-mart chains called: sam's marketplace (where groceries would be sold), sam's (where urban living goods would be sold bulk and wholesale), and sam's minimart (where convenience services/items and pharmaceuticals would be sold)...all of which would have goods sold at wal-mart great everyday low prices. "Always low prices. Always." that's our motto!!
shout out to Sportscenter, who is studiously studying for a midterm and writing a paper...and for reminding Juvey and me of cell development after the sperm and egg meet, and moving that memory of information from the depths of our minds to our permament memory by asking us questions on reproduction.
i had din din tonite with Mel D...which was nice. 'twas nice to catch up on sheeeat.
went to Mafia...or, what i like to call Mo'fia. i was killed twice and won only once...still, however, i was never mafia.
wah.
next time...who do i have to sleep with around here?
"what?" you asked. "i don't believe it! not the AZN flush."
yes, my friends, it is true...i have gotten rid of the azn flush, and the discomfort that comes with it.
"what is the AZN flush?" you ask.
the azn flush occurs because i, like other asians, have a defective gene. apparently, while it makes my race smarter, it also breaks down alcohol in one, huge, bottle-necked flush...hence the asian flush, and hence my face turning read and me feeling hotter, hornier and prettier than ever. "normal" people deal with the alcohol little by little. it is because of the discomfort of the azn flush that there are less azn alcoholics, except for my mother, my father, and my teenage son.
anyway, since this discovery, i pounded shouts in the mouth and up the A like no other...and didn't turn read...did turn really fucking retarded, and ultimately, went to bed crawling into it, and sleeping in my contacts without brushing my teeth.
my drunkeness on friday included: stealing a bottle of smirnoff apple twist from a party...then stealing a bottle of bacardi limon, and running around making my friends and people who i know take shots from it...dancing like a wild man in the god quad...making people hug trees...smoking a cig...calling it a night...and passing out
my drunkeness on saturday included: pouding shots in crrristos's place upstairs after showing face at albo's b-day party; it was funny because the skyy vodka berries that i was drinking was stolen from the same party the previous night...smoking in the bathroom...chillin in a hallway...SNEAKING INTO TOADS, THE MOST TRASHIEST/CLASSIEST CLUB EVER!!...and "chasing the dragon" with $ upstairs...and crawling into someone else's bed...and later on, my own bed.
for ligit info, my cousin from dartmouth and her friend from wesleyan came by. it was good to see them. i did have to turn down a trip to NYC to see "I am my own wife" on broadway, and go to the actor's loft in the upper east side afterward where refreshments would be served...and the chance to go shopping with my roomie, SportsCenter, and his buds...but, it was well worth it when Pheesh and her friend appreciated Yale and the gloriousness that it is.
*sigh of relief*
as far as being wal-mart goes, i signed with some developers, and there should be at least 2 new wal-mart chains built on the plot of lower manhattan. i came up with new, classier, wal-mart chains called: sam's marketplace (where groceries would be sold), sam's (where urban living goods would be sold bulk and wholesale), and sam's minimart (where convenience services/items and pharmaceuticals would be sold)...all of which would have goods sold at wal-mart great everyday low prices. "Always low prices. Always." that's our motto!!
shout out to Sportscenter, who is studiously studying for a midterm and writing a paper...and for reminding Juvey and me of cell development after the sperm and egg meet, and moving that memory of information from the depths of our minds to our permament memory by asking us questions on reproduction.
i had din din tonite with Mel D...which was nice. 'twas nice to catch up on sheeeat.
went to Mafia...or, what i like to call Mo'fia. i was killed twice and won only once...still, however, i was never mafia.
wah.
next time...who do i have to sleep with around here?
posted by Joe @ 1:15 AM
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