yeah!! my blog has risen!!

woo hoo! i am so very happy right now! my blog has risen again from the dead. thanks to the help of hottie tang and JC (not JC chasez), i have revived my once lost and fucked up blog! thank you JEEEBUS! (...wait a minute...jeebus had nothing to do with it...o well, i'll give him some credit)

so anyway, once again...suprise suprise...i'm just chillin' at the computer like the villain that i am. martha stewart, mother of Tommy Stewart and wife of Ervin Tinnon III, is playing on TV right now. she's in vaChinaTown...but i don't know which one. there's some FOB woman, who is not my mother, showing martha around the area...helping her buy cheap children for her factories.

my kitchen is being super duper cool. every year during the summer/spring, we get a hoard of ants that invade the Afinyanafongs Family Mansion. and each year, i am totally grossed out of the array of itty bitty black shits crawling on the counter-top...and yet my parents remain unphased.

is it because they are chinese? or because they enjoy the presence and company of the ants?

i will never understand. we can't kill the ants because, to my dad, that's a big no no (if you haven't guessed it yet, he's a buddhist...they're weird like that). and my mom is afraid of spraying any Raid b/c it's in the kitchen...and if we get a taste of the chemicals, we'll turn green and die. so i just have to deal with the o-so-vulgar sight. waaah! they are gross little buggers. i wish they would die.

speaking of things that i wish were dead/did-not-exist, here are a few:
DUST
MOSQUITOS
ITCHINESS
STDs
ANTS
PEOPLE SMARTER THAN ME

here is my public apology to bapple, with whom i mistakenly argued about the "Blackbird" tab. i apologize. i often forget that, in the words of Leah from RW: Paris, "you are the most educated one out of all of us"...and i seem to always forget that you are smart. i mean, college of charleston really shows off how smart you are! my apologies for being ignorant. i'm just a measley chinaman.

on the to do list:
1) nair every bit of hair on my body
2) find a amateur porn connection while up in chicago
3) pose as a "twinkie", or person under the age of 18, for porno sites
4) make money to pay off college
5) become rich and successful!!

yeah!! with god on my side, i can be ANYTHING and do ANYTHING i want to do. i mean, by doing porn, i feel like i am really servicing the world. if i can make just one person happy with my nude bod, i have done my job. i feel like such a philanthropist! and who said porn was sinful? pah!

everything on martha stewart sounds dirtier when typed:

Chinese Woman: Do you think this looks like sixteen inches?
M. Stewart: Oh...it looks pretty good to me

M. Stewart: Look at those buns? aren't they pretty?

M. Stewart: ...so it is sticky!!

yesterday, i got in a trist with neenee and bapple about my infatuation with sex. i don't think i talk about sex that much, i mean, read my blog. sex is prolly only mentioned a couple million times! they must get off on teasing me or something...hmm...that's kind of hot...*getting off*

i went to work today, and damn katie, the person i work with at the skating camp, didn't think to call me and let me know that camp was cancelled today. while waiting for her to acknowledge my existence, she finally looked at me and said "you can go now". i'm thinking "no shit sherlock" and begin to leave when she barely mentions "oo yeah~ camp is cancelled tomorrow also." i really would have busted one if she had forgotten to tell me that work was cancelled tomorrow. the compressors that kept the ice frozen had broken, so the camp became a "polar bear club" initiation.

yeah!! CHICAGO in only a few days. i'm excited...and, on top of that, i'm turning 18...and legal!! how invigorating.

*eats a bowl of easy mac*
while pouring out the artificial cheese into the bowl of microwaved macaroni, i thought "wow. thats a whole lot of artificial cheese."

...and with that, i shall bit thee all adieu!